A Proper Perspective

I don’t know who said it first, but I have always appreciated the validity of this quote: “A proper perspective is worth fifty I.Q. points.”

Perspective. Interesting word with several shades of meaning. In this case, it means “a view of things in their true relationship or relative importance.”

In my quest for a life of meaning–rich in personal growth, sustaining relationships, and fulfilling work–two particular views of things have inspired in me a high degree of curiosity, optimism, and enthusiasm throughout my life. I’m not sure they’ve made me any smarter cognitively, but both have brought true joy of living into reality for me. These are perspectives that most of us avoid like the plague but, as Chet likes to say, they could be HUGE.

1. Death could come at any moment.

That’s right. Death. The perspective that I could die at any moment has breathed life into my life.

I learned this truth as a 13-year old boy, when two brothers of my closest friend died suddenly within a year of one another. Paul succumbed in four hours to a deadly form of spinal meningitis. Frank was murdered. Over the course of the next fifteen years, I would lose four other friends to accidents and cancer. Noreen was struck and killed instantly by a car her boyfriend was driving. Jim stumbled drunk into traffic. Mike drowned in a Cancun riptide on Christmas Day, and Scott contracted liver cancer and was gone in three months.

If these young people I knew so well, all my age or just barely older, could be gone so shockingly and so suddenly, what was my response to be? The spirit that came over me from this perspective on death was one of appreciation and gratitude:  “Live NOW. Don’t waste a minute. Life is fragile and all-too brief, and so embrace and celebrate it. How fortunate to be conscious! What a rare thing consciousness is, and here I am, a winner in the DNA lottery. Not only that, but I was born into THIS great country at THIS particular time to THESE terrific parents with all these TALENTS and GIFTS. Who the hell am I not to use them to their fullest? Life may be difficult sometimes, and the days are long, but the years are short. Live high. Live mighty. Live righteously.”

So for me, death has not been an enemy, but rather a friend. By making a friend of death, I worry little about the future. I am free to concentrate on now.

 2. Aging beats the alternative.

So many people I now know fail the perspective test on the topic of aging. They erroneously compare old age with youth, and thereby place themselves in a sad state lamenting the loss of their beauty, vigor, and stamina. But here again, the way they choose to look at it makes all the difference. Instead, they should see that the alternative to aging is oblivion.

Looked at it this way, it’s easy to welcome each birthday, along with all the new wrinkles and grey hair. I don’t mire myself in the past, regretting lost youth. I get on the with the beautiful mess we call “life.”

Tell me what you see. How do you see things like death and aging? How about these things?

Demanding customers: Unfair adversaries, or partners who want you to improve?

Complaining employees: Malcontents, or committed associates who care enough to complain?

Troubled teenagers: Lazy ingrates, or kids crying out for guidance and protection?

Life’s problems: Unnecessary burdens, or opportunities for growth?

Your point of view is your pivot point.

And it makes all the difference.

P.S. If you want to help someone do something both beautiful and funny about death, check this out: Lizzie’s Death Cafe