Home

In practice with a client the other day I was reminded again that home is where the heart is AND where the hurt is. That’s not surprising. Home is where we’re typically most vulnerable, most open, most fully ourselves. The more vulnerable you are, the easier it is to be and feel wounded. Here’s the hardest part, solving this kind of wound typically means leaning further into it. When there’s a pain from a missed birthday or an unkind word, it’s far easier to lash out, shut down, stuff it deeper. This is a normal human response. The callous builds, you don’t talk about it, resentment breeds. Not good. Chronic pain that slowly kills the marriage.

A healthier (and harder) response is to bare your soul even more. To share the pain that you’re feeling, the hurt. Less finger pointing, more honest sharing of your state. Then connect them to the dream. How you’d like it to be. Find out if they share that dream. Get curious about where it differs and what you can build together. Rinse and repeat and keep taking baby steps to close the gap. Be willing to go first, be willing to share more, be willing to be more exposed. Leaders always go first.