I listened to my client talk about his high performer and his “problem child.” You guessed it, they are one and the same. I see this all the time. It seems that just about every team has high performers that double as high maintenance. What do we do?
As leaders we think we are setting the proper course by “dealing” with the problem as best we can during the moment of crisis. These moments always come. They are, oftentimes, very emotionally charged moments. High performers behaviors are rarely changed with these dealings. They will say and do anything during this moment to simply “escape” said moment. They get what they want and move on.
I challenged my client to bring his high performer into our session. His response was typical. He needed more time. He was NOT ready to face this person. When we got to the third level of “why’s” it was quite obvious the reason. He feared that his star might leave. His star might leave and take his “book” with him. My client was in a “hostage situation.” The ironic piece was that he was the HOSTAGE.
Here’s what happened. I left my client meeting and wandered out to the high performers assistant and asked her to “send him in” when he returned from his BIG client meeting. She told me that would be any moment. Good, I replied.
Returning to my client I informed him of my decision and asked him to TRUST me.
He was NOT happy. He felt that he was NOT ready. But, give him credit, he stepped up.
I started the session that was targeted for 30 minutes with one written assignment. After a brief intro, I asked both parties to write exactly what they wanted from the other. I asked them to start high and then drop out of the clouds to some specifics AND, of course, to include plenty of detail about WHY. About WHY they wanted what they wanted and about WHY this would improve collective performance.
I looked out the window as they wrote away. The silence in the meeting was golden. We could ALL use more silence in our days.
I asked the high performer to go first. He was AWESOME with his clarity. Once he concluded, my client was encouraged to ask any and all questions that would bring clarity to his understanding. He was NOT allowed to ask questions that led to change or fix his high performer. Once the high performer felt he was UNDERSTOOD, they were to switch roles.
They were to “rinse and repeat” until this was squeaky clean. Next they were to see where their conflict lived. Where what they wanted was in conflict with what the other wanted. They were to decide what to do about this conflict. Resolve some and laugh about others is the recipe.
I left them to go to the next client after the first thirty minutes. They continued for another sixty! My client and I spoke later in the day and he was ecstatic about what they accomplished. They are learning how to “fight” to improve performance vs. fighting to prove a point. This changes everything. Very cool.
Problems are NOT self healing systems.
You are READY.
Do NOT let FEAR stop you and your team short.
What conflict are you “sweeping under the rug?”
Why?
BUILT TO LEAD 
What a GREAT story. Chet, isn’t it so true that when I’m “NOT ready”, isn’t it almost ALWAYS a symptom of a mindset that I’m waiting to meet until I can WIN — or like J. Kenneth Galbraith says, I’m collecting the PROOF to show that I am RIGHT and don’t need to change MY views!
So I’m imagining how the REST of this story might be playing out. . .
e.g. like TODAY in the office as the rest of the team noticed the change in the atmosphere and the culture of the 20 square feet around both these guys. Maybe they heard these guys LAUGHING together again and were AMAZED and came out of hiding in their cubicles to TALK to each other. Maybe instead of the usual cynical aftershocks lighting up the underground network, people were inspired to start believing again. That maybe magic is REAL because I just experienced it. That working here could be FUN again.
e.g. Maybe these guys’ FAMILIES were surprised when they came home and had a GREAT DAY they couldn’t wait to tell their wives about. Maybe instead of “Friday night at the fights”, this led to a similar breakthrough in their marriage, or with a difficult teen, or just a wonderful weekend at home!
e.g. Maybe next month we’ll hear about how this conversation stimulated a positive change that led a key team player to stay that was going to leave. AND a new customer to sign that was captivated by the renewed sense of zeal of the high performer. AND an idea to be born from the creativity that comes from people performing at their best. AND others stimulated to tear down their fortresses and start learning to TALK, and HEAR EACH OTHER, and BE UNDERSTOOD.
e.g. AND how someone else reading your blog will be inspired to have a similar conversation that’s long overdue!
Gurue,
You are the STINKIN’ berries. What a great AND…AND I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen to all the additional teams you are about to touch. Very cool.