The deep end…

Spoke today with one of my long standing clients about what we’ve learned over our five years working together.  The thoughts were numerous and varied.  Very cool to journey with a few humans down a long, narrow, twisting trail.  I love diving into the deep end with a few.

High performance individuals, teams, and leaders are a fascinating subject.  This study is far from ending.  Talk about a lifelong journey!  However, there is one thought that stands above the rest.  Do NOT miss.  This is HUGE.  This is also just another reminder.

We are all filled with one thing more than any other.  It manifests itself in a thousand different forms.  Sometimes it’s passive.  Often it is aggressive.  Sometimes it causes us to work really HARD.  Other times it causes us to do NOTHING.  It comes out of us in all these different ways because it is so ingrained in our very nature.  We can, at best, beat it back but never conquer it.  We cannot eliminate it; only act our way through it.  Oh yes, it has a name.

FEAR.

As men we mostly fear failure.  Failing in our work and then failing in our relationships.  Usually in that order.  We want to know that “we have what it takes.”

Women mostly fear relational heartache.  Ever notice when you talk to your bride or to a woman you know well, how much worry and heartache is around their “babies,” their brothers, mothers, and the like?  They are wired to protect and nurture at a level that I cannot imagine.  Women also fear being dominated and being unlovable. Women want to know “Am I worth fighting for.”  And, they often gauge this by the quality and intimacy of their relationships.

Yes, we all have FEARS.  No wonder marriage and other meaningful relationships are fraught with such difficulties.  FEAR tells us to pull back and build a fortress.

Survive.

Meaningful relationship cry out for time, empathy, understanding, and all sorts of other “unproductive” times.  Meaningful relationships are filled with vulnerable, terrifying moments.  Moments where we men will fear failure through every pore in our body.  The strong men will not go fortress hunting.  They will know that their “sitting in there” says to their woman that she is worth fighting for.  Very cool.

Beautiful couples are not the ones that necessarily “look” the best but they are ones that have an abundance of LOVE in their depths.  

This weekend, face your fears and invest your whole heart with those you LOVE.

Do NOT attempt to simply survive.  DIVE into the deep end.

Thrive.