Last week I met with a former client who introduced me to a couple potential new clients. My former client is a really cool guy who is still working toward opus. Opus is worth working toward and rarely comes without a lengthy journey. Seems that’s just the road the seeker must choose to travel. Back to last week.
My old client is a learner and he wanted to participate in these meetings even though he had plenty of “real” work of his own. His willingness to create margin created a kairos moment for both of us.
As we drove together after our meetings I thanked him for his help and asked him what he had observed. “You hardly said anything and yet you seemed to create a connection.” He couldn’t have said it more clearly, concisely, or directly. Here’s the skinny on connection as far as I’ve observed and studied.
Talk IS cheap.
According to Albert Mehrabian from the University of California, listeners remember very little of the words you and I speak. He’s the guy that coined 55,38,7. This is one of the “construction zone” exercises in the 12 Essentials of Personal Excellence. Here’s Albert’s research with a few of my thoughts on top.
55 percent of your message is your body language. The primary source is your face and most specifically your eyes. The receiver is looking for sincerity.
The question: Do I believe your eyes and your words align?
38 percent of your message is your voice. Tone, quality, variation, volume, and feel. We primarily listen to tone and feel. The receiver is looking for LOVE.
The question: Do I believe that you LOVE what your words are trying to tell me?
7 percent of your message is your words. Enough said…
The question: Do your words sear me?
Who knew? Who knew that talk really is cheap? Turns out that all our wordiness makes us less believable. The best communications recipe is a short and simple one. Build a strong CORE and then speak from your heart. Lead with your LOVE. You will be internally aligned and fully engaged. We will believe you. AND, as it turns out, we’ll remember what you said.
BUILT TO LEAD 