You finally found the key new member your team’s been missing. They say “yes”. . .and then a few days later they tell you, “Gee, I’m so sorry, I’ve been having second thoughts. . .” It’s usually right after they’ve told their current employer, who suddenly is ready to promise the world to fix what led them to look in the first place.
So, what do you do? Offering more money isn’t the answer. Do you start second guessing yourself and beating yourself up? Do you tell yourself they just weren’t the right one and that they wouldn’t have worked out anyway?
OR, do you do what one of our BUILT TO LEAD clients did last week. You call them up and ask if you can have lunch because you want to help them make sure they are making the best decision — for THEM. At lunch you practice being “curious George” and learn more about what they are really thinking. And then you follow it up with a personalized note like this:
“Thanks for your time yesterday. I am glad to have the chance to
understand your concerns better.
I wanted to pass along two things for your consideration:
First – some references. Each of the two people below have worked
with me in the past. Neither is still here. Both for different
reasons. I have not told them you are calling. I want your
conversation to be as objective as possible. With each, I had a good
relationship. With each, I had struggles. So I am sure they will
share good and bad. That is what I want you to have. If you do not
want to call them, that is ok too.
I would also be glad to give you the names of some partners,
contractors, etc. with whom I have worked, so that you can get a feel
for how I conduct myself. Let me know if you want that.
Second – I want to give you something else to think about as you are
making your decision. Again, what is important is that you make the
right decision for you.
One of the things that you say you want is Growth. This only happens
when we stretch ourselves or take ourselves out of our comfort zone.
I like to think of it as two circles one inside the other. The center
circle is our comfort zone – it is a certain size. We can remain
there and it stays the same. The Outer circle has our Panic zone on
the outside and our uncomfortable zone between the center circle and
the outer circle. That is where we experience GROWTH. Spending time
there is not always comfortable. But as we do, our fear reduces and
the size of the comfort circle grows narrowing the gap or making the
circles bigger.
No matter what you do, I want to challenge you to hang out in your
uncomfortable zone. You will Grow here. If you join us, it
will naturally occur. If you stay where you are, it can still occur,
but you are going to have to make a conscious effort to get there.
You are going to have to challenge the status quo, the leadership, the
people around you. I have no doubt you can do it. Either way you can
grow. If you stay and do not do it, you are less likely to grow.
So the question is, where is the environment best for me to Grow? You
know what I think, but that really does not matter. You have to
decide that and whatever your decision, be committed to making it
happen.
If you want me to explain the above more, let me know. Otherwise, I
will look forward to hearing something from you later this week.”
Now THAT’s the stuff BUILT TO LEAD leaders are made of! Thank YOU, clients, for reminding us why our tagline is “together we improve.”
p.s. So how did it turn out? Here’s the REST of the story —
“After taking into consideration what we discussed and what is ultimately best for me, I am ready and excited about joining your team. Call me this weekend if you have time, if not we can touch base Monday morning.”
BUILT TO LEAD 