The Builders at BUILT TO LEAD are fans of CLARITY. Lack of clarity in communications, and confusion between one person and another surrounding the meaning of language, is often a source of miscommunication. Misunderstanding, due to miscommunication, is a type of friction suffered by the organization, introducing an irritant to interpersonal relationships, a drag on trust, and a governor on the forward momentum of the team.
Leaders, wherever they may be in the hierarchy, can eliminate this drag with two questions:
“Have I heard you fully?” and “What did you hear?”
Imagine the lift in your organization’s performance if every listener took the responsibility to fully listen, and conveyed to every speaker that they had; and every speaker was clear, concise, and direct–with respect–and always checked for mutual understanding. Very cool.
This is so simple, yet so rare. Why? Maybe it’s because two of the great human fears are rejection by the community and a loss of status or significance. In short, these fears translate to all of us trying to be understood; to tell our story; to be heard.
The problem is, no one’s listening if all are talking.
Leaders go first, so ignite a revolution in your organization starting on Monday morning. Slow down your need to “tell” and give others the gift of your listening. Make sure it’s “full-body” listening. Use all five senses to really understand the other person, not only what they may be saying, but what they might be feeling as well. Make them feel sure that you have heard them by your posture, your eye contact, and your clarifying questions. The most important question a listener can ask is “Have I heard you fully?” That question and the attitude underneath it will disarm them, and will cause them to be so much more open to what you have to say.
An added benefit–they’ll think you are so much smarter, nicer and more fascinating, simply because you listened generously to them.
When it’s your time to speak, do so clearly, concisely, and directly. Then check them for understanding.
BUILT TO LEAD believes it is the responsibility of every speaker to ensure that full understanding has occurred in all communications. That’s why another one of our favorite questions is “What did you hear?” On the same page? Very cool. Go forth and prosper. Not connecting? Simply rinse and repeat.
So, dear reader, we ask:
What did you just hear?
Does your body language always convey respect for the other person and their point of view?
Do you check for understanding?
Tell us more.
We’re listening.
BUILT TO LEAD 