We are slow learners, aren’t we? In fact, do the words “fast” and learner even belong together?
Litmus test.
Think back to your personal learning. Jordan, my son, as quickly as he’s picked up the game of Poker, would NOT say he has learned the game “fast.” He would tell you that he’s putting in his hours and that he’s fascinated, curious, and committed to speeding his learning process. There’s just no short way there. To mastery, that is.
We are slow learners. Fact. The road to mastery is a minimum of 10,000 hours. Talk about slow.
I wish my learning was FAST. Fact. It is NOT. Let me give you an example. One of my big dreams is to become a master builder for my family, friends, and clients. I am fascinated, curious, and committed to discovering what makes others tick and how I can help them achieve their big dreams. This is a lifelong journey and one that I, oftentimes, feel isn’t going anywhere fast. I amaze myself at how slowly I learn. AND, how often my stumble is caused by the same root problem. Here it is. This is so basic, it’s almost funny.
Almost.
I want to fix another. I rush to judge like a banchee. The minute I hear a problem from one of my family members, the minute I hear a complaint, the minute I hear the least little nag, I jump to GIVE them the answer. I see what ails them with crystal clarity. BTW, what is their problem anyway? I mean why in the world can’t they see such an obvious way forward. You know what I mean?
Are you kidding me? Nope.
I catch myself, after the fact, and want to kick my own teeth in. How could I be so stupid. I’m the freakin’ expert here on what makes people tick and I keep tripping over myself.
Note to self…
Nobody wants to be given the answer even when they’re begging for it. I know this. I study this. AND, I trip and stumble over this. I never stop needing to be REMINDED. Houston, we’ve got a problem…
Yes we do. And we don’t want any freakin’ expert “fixing us.” Nope.
We humans simply want to be heard and understood. We want someone to comfort us with their gaze, their full attention, their LOVE, and their lack of judging. Once we feel that, we just might want their thoughts. We just might trust and desire their repair. Never prior. And yet I’m one big “flapjaw.” Out with the fix when they take their first “cleansing” breath. I do this all the time.
Slowly, I’m learning. Slowly.
The only repair business that us humans need to really master is this one. All leaders are actually master repairmen. Masters at repairing relationships. NOT, masters at fixing those around them. Never that. Masters in saying I’m sorry. Masters at moving toward another with the objective of repairing the relationship. Magic.
This Sunday, make it a repair day.
Slowly…
BUILT TO LEAD 