In recent weeks we’ve begun “practice” with a number of new clients and I’ve been reminded of something we see all the time at BUILT TO LEAD. Here it is. Do not miss this. This is HUGE.
The work world is full of people that have learned to be “helpless.” They don’t come up to me during practice with this revelation, in fact they rarely acknowledge that this is in fact where they’ve taken up residence. They do NOT see it, at least not early on. AND, they especially don’t like it when I tell them that their neighborhood has a name…
VICTIMHOOD.
None of us wants to admit to ourselves or to others that victimhood is where we live, however, if you find yourself working for an overly controlling CEO and experience some anxiety around the thought of telling him or her the unvarnished truth, here’s a four stepper that just might help. Follow this recipe forever. NOT for a couple days, not when you “can’t take it anymore,” and not when you’ve decided to finally quit. Follow this recipe forever and start NOW.
1. Tell your leader exactly what you want. I suggest a minimum of your big three wants and no more than five. Put it in writing.
2. Ask your leader exactly what he/she wants from you. Ask them to put it in writing.
3. Steps one and two will bubble to the surface your conflict. Talk about why each “want” is important to performance. Make sure that each of you walk out understanding why your wants are critical to your performance. Fight to improve performance and not to prove your point. Period.
4. Allow your leader to influence you as long as you “believe” that his/her want will improve performance. Do NOT just concede because of their position. The minute you start down that slippery slope, you will find getting back to level ground nearly impossible. Stand for performance. Stand for performing according to your ethos (ethic/purpose), your pathos (passion), and your logos (logic).
5. Catch your leader doing something right and tell him/her. Do NOT make the mistake of only seeing them as THE man. When we see the leader this way we tend to want to stick it to them. See them as the HUman. If they truly are humane, that is, they will more than return the volley.
6. If the leader does NOT reciprocate. ACT. Do NOT continue to allow your leader to “power over” you and control you to suit their fancy, to do what they won’t, or for any reason beyond improving performance. Any leader that demands action from you that makes no sense, that violates your CORE, and that doesn’t build sustainable performance does not deserve your time. Don’t sell out or settle out of FEAR.
Just LEAVE.
Remember, when someone stops believing, someone will soon be leaving.
This is managing your manger 101. All it takes is a strong CORE.
You got one?
BUILT TO LEAD 
Reblogged this on BUILT TO LEAD and commented:
A timely reminder for many…