In the winter of 2000 I was first diagnosed with squamous cell skin cancer. I can remember that call when I first heard the dreaded “C” word directed my way. I had lost my father to cancer in 1996 so the wound was still fairly fresh.
Twenty two “cuts” later, my doctor believes that the worst is behind me. I’m not so sure. Here’s my biggest learning through this process.
I knew about the need for sunscreen even when I was a kid. My Dad was a doctor and my Mom a nurse, so I had heard all about it. I applied this knowledge somewhat sparingly. I wasn’t disciplined. I got burned. I didn’t think that much about it.
After the first cut, my behavior changed. Deeply changed.
The sun damage that I’ve accumulated all these years cannot be reversed. All that can be done is what I’m doing. Limit my exposure and apply sunscreen like a banchee. I would love to go back and rewrite my “suns” history, but time does not allow us that luxury. I took too long to apply what I knew. I took too long to deeply change. I got burned.
I hope that you do not worship the sun without coverage and I hope that you’ve been blessed with dark skin and dark eyes.
I tell this story to my clients oftentimes to make a point. The point has nothing to do with the sun, their skin, or preventative medicine. The story serves as a setup for this question. I ask them what is it going to take for them to deeply change one of their performance limiting behaviors.
It could be that they’ve told me that they know that they drink too much and they want to limit their alcohol to two drinks a night even though they average six. It could be that they want to stop responding in ANGER, even though they explode oftentimes to the point of blind rage. It could be that they want a “better” relationship with their brother, even though they continue to wait for him to initiate. It could be that they want to lose those thirty pounds, even though they continue to work all the time, entertain clients at the trough, and drink like a fish. It could be that they want to stop taking those oxycontin pain pills, even though they find themselves chewing them on more than one occasion. I could go on. I’ll stop. I then tell them this.
I ask them if they understand that just like me playing in the sun without protection, they are playing with fire. The consequences may be delayed for decades but the consequences are coming. They can either deeply change or prepare to be badly burned.
What behavior do you need to change NOW before you get badly burned?
If you can’t see any, try asking your truth tellers for a bright light?
If you don’t have any truth tellers, you just found the need for deep change…
BUILT TO LEAD 
Chet thank you for sharing this.
It is sobering to ask “am I modeling what I want for my spouse & kids?” They are master students, and the Carl Jung words you share often ring loudly — “the most damaging thing in the life of a child is the UNlived life of its parent.”
Scars are evidence this life is a battle. They tell a story of their own. Like scars, deep healing & deep change happens inside out. We can’t fake it. The good news is others can’t mistake it, and it wakes them up inspired to do likewise.
That’s what I want for my wife & kids, and when I know these things, I’m blessed when I DO them.
And so are they. Thanks for this reminder.