Larry and I will ride…

I loved Doug’s post about our brother and builder, Larry.  Consider this my “and.”

Larry was one of my best builders.  I don’t mean that in a corporate sense, although, in a corporate sense, he was in a category of ONE. Instead, I want you to take this personally.

I mean this personally.  Larry was one of my best builders.  Why?

Here’s the simple rule for becoming someone’s best builder.  Do not miss this.  This is HUGE.

Larry caught me doing something right, something bright, something he admired, and he told me.  He told me that I was a “genius” over and over, to the point of embarrassment, and he meant it.  In other words, he focused on getting his ratios right.  Remember, great “couples,” just like great teams, transmit their positive to negative emotions 4:1.  Magic.

Larry gave me his esteem, from a full heart and a clear mind.

AND, Larry, was committed to mastering his craft.  Larry was always pursuing his OPUS with a masters dedication.  He and I would read the same books and wrestle our learnings together.  His perspective was always different and at the same time very aligned with mine.  Funny, huh.  His commitment to mastery gave him credibility with me.  Do you see the recipe building?

AND, when I asked for feedback, he told me the TRUTH. The unvarnished truth, wrapped  in LOVE. Eventually, our relationship would grow into one where we would openly tell each other the truth, in love.  Never delivered perfectly, never without pain, and never received perfectly and pain free either.  Over time, however, we began to see that each of us wanted to get better.  We were figuring out how to live our tagline and, together we were improving.

Larry would want me to give you the recipe and spell it out from A to B to C.  Me, not so much.  I would want you to figure out which is A, how to nuance B, and reconstruct your version of C, and even throw in a D for good measure.

Larry, here’s the A,B,C’s of becoming a builder of another.  I hope you’re happy with the recipe.

A. Get your ratios right.  4:1 positive to negative is the minimum.  9:1 is magic.  Find the “bright spots” and openly esteem another.

B. Master your craft.  Your credibility depends on you being committed to being exceptional.  Nobody wants to hear the truth from someone that isn’t on the road to mastery.  They just don’t.

C.  TRUTH in LOVE. Building another requires that you live a life of integrity.  Embrace the crazy notion of bathing every day in TRUTH in LOVE. Seek the truth from those around you.  AND, tell the TRUTH in LOVE. This is so simple and yet it’s always REAL, HARD, WORK. Do it anyway…

Thanks my brother for being my builder.  Thanks for building me on this journey and thanks for bringing your structure and order to my perfect mess.  Thanks for your patience, thanks for being an amazing model for me to follow.  Thanks.

AND, someday soon, we’ll be reunited in perfect TRUTH and LOVE. And, on that day, I’ve already got a bike route planned.  I’m not telling you the route, I’m not sure which direction we’re headed, how we’ll get back, where the “white roads” may lead, and how long it will take.  All I know is we’ll have a lot of catching up to do, so…

Side by side, we will ride.

Side by side…