I wonder sometimes how many people in my life might say they’re loyal to me.
Not just those who are “friendly” towards me, or “interested” in my well being, or even those who “respect” me, but how many could say that they’re deeply committed to me?
Loyalty. I used to be an “expert” in customer loyalty back in my pre-BTL days. I wonder if I really WAS an expert or just knew the lingo and the schtick…
I guess today there are 5 people I have little doubt about. Plus maybe another dozen or two, max. Only one I have no doubt about. How about you?
This is a pretty important topic. The quality of my life rests on the quality of my relationships, especially those few transforming ones I am blessed to have in life. I gotta get this right!
So here’s my definition of loyalty: “enduring commitment to a relationship of deep trust, common cause, and reciprocal value.” Heart? Check. Right brain? Check. Left brain? Check.
Gotta have trust. No commitment without it; just compliance. That ain’t loyalty.
Gotta have a cause we believe in together. No passion without it, just “passin’ time.” That ain’t loyalty.
Gotta have reciprocal value, too. Otherwise someone’s a leach, eventually. That sure ain’t loyalty.
So at the heart of all committed relationships are mutual trust, passion, and service. Where do these three come from? Where can I get some of that? Where else? A strong CORE. To be trusted, I must be trustworthy. That rests on my integrity, my “wholeness.” Character AND Competence.
My character is who I am when no one’s looking. Do I have the self-discipline to generate self-respect? Do I have compassion for others to generate respect for them? If so, I have a strong character, and that leads to high self-confidence.
My competence is my understanding, my wisdom, of how I and the world actually work. Do I have self-awareness of my gifts and limitations and a vision for my life to trust myself? Do I have the skills and know-how to get a job done? If so, I have good competence, and that leads to others having confidence in me.
If I have developed both, I have earned a personal Culture of Confidence, founded on Competence and Character, aka “Trustworthiness.” I deserve to be trusted. I have won the right to loyalty.
Underneath trust is FAITH. Underneath passion is HOPE. Underneath service is LOVE. And the greatest of these is love–service to others. Loyalty can live without a cause, and survive a breach of trust…just as long as love survives. When love goes, loyalty dies. But love never dies, does it?
Some say loyalty is dead. I disagree. It’s just gone into hiding. Where there is love.
Do you want more loyalty? Personally, professionally…make no distinction. Start at your CORE.
Does your company deserve the loyalty of customers? Is service your operating ethic? Whom do you serve?
Is your team loyal to your company? Who’s loyal to you?
Why? Why not?
It makes all the difference.
BUILT TO LEAD 