Today, I told one of my favorite clients that it’s alright to let his face show what he’s thinking. He crinkled his nose and flashed me that fake smile one more time. This will be a hard habit to break, and one with a real reward when he does. This is not a bad man. This is a good man with a bad habit. This is a man just like you and just like me. A man in need of a builder. Moving on.
Most men and women hide their thinking behind the mask of their face. They have not yet come to trust that their face will signal the proper message so they usually “manufacture” some kinda smile and put it on when their perturbed, pent up, pissed off, or any other number of emotions that they don’t want to reveal. This takes energy and sends a mixed message. As alert receivers, we meet this signal with simple disbelief. Not good.
The recipe for building connections with another always require that we show another our heart. We can’t simply show them our head and hope that is enough. Humans are meant for community and we cannot get their rationally. Instead, we always form communities with chemistry by getting there, relationally. We don’t join a cause simply because it makes business sense. We feel aligned with the pain cancer has caused ourselves and the ones we love, and before we know it we’ve signed up for Pelotonia or Livestrong. We feel our way into every decision. Our head is there and so is our heart.
Leaders cannot attract a high performing team, especially today, without learning how to show his/her heart. Yesterday, maybe. Tomorrow, next to never.
Every one of my clients is learning to speak from their heart. This is the language of master connectors. This language is clear, concise, and direct. And, always with respect. AND, this language comes from your heart and spreads across your face in perfect alignment with your words. This language is believable and appears to be without effort. The truth, of course, is that this kind of connector is built with real, hard, work. Once built, however, the effort and the energy requirement drops as steeply as believability builds. This allows all of us to “get it” and, more importantly to get on with it. This produces a team that gets one more productive action done a day, 5 a week, and hundreds a year. This is the heart of performance. Do you see it?
Are you studying your face and aligning your words with your face?
Are you developing the habit of aligning your words with your actions?
Are you mastering your craft?
Are you creating a cause at your place of work that connects with your teams hearts?
Are YOU creating a connection with those you’ve been gifted to lead?
Done so.
BUILT TO LEAD 