Human desire is a fascinating subject. We are very diverse and yet eerily similar in our pursuit. Our American founders were not far from the mark when they stated the American dream as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
Most of us highly value life first and foremost. However, there are countless humans throughout history who have valued liberty above even their life. In fact, that is why we are here blogging and reading away, in the comfort of our homes, our airports, our coffee shops, our places of work, and just about anywhere we like. We are alive in a time of unprecedented freedom around the world. AND, at the same moment more than 27,000,000 humans are enslaved around the globe. Stunning, I know. I’ll rant about that fact another time. Moving on.
In America most of us have the opportunity to live freely and pursue whatever makes us happy. Stunningly, again, these same Americans are more depressed, more drug addicted, more overweight, and more alone than ever. We’re more connected with our friends on facebook than the ones next door. We can’t seem to solve the riddle to satisfy a deep longing within.
The more I study our plight and specifically the circumstances that surround my clients, I’ve stumbled onto a few learnings that might be worth sharing. These don’t belong to a famous writer, nor a noteworthy person of substance and accomplishment. Take this and think about it…
I believe humans desire has two root desires that branch out deep and wide. We all desire to know who we are. We want to see ourselves for who we are and know that we are unique and have a place in this world that is ours. We want to know our identity. We want to know our secret name, as Revelations reveals and Kary writes about.
AND, we all want to belong.
We want to be understood by another and fully accepted. In other words we want to know who we are and achieve autonomy. AND, at the same time be one with another, belong to a team, belong in a family, belong to a neighborhood, belong to a club, and on and on and on it goes.
We humans deeply desire to know our identity, see ourselves for who we are, and grow into someone that is autonomous. AND, we want another to want us. We want to belong.
Here’s the crazy part to this puzzle. We can’t force our sense of belonging. We can’t make someone want to be with us, join our team, treat us as family, be neighborly, invite us into their club, and understand and accept us for who we are. We can, however, give this gift of belonging to another. We can let another human know that they can count on us. We can invite people into relationship and give freely to meet their needs. We are free to give this gift.
It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?
BUILT TO LEAD 