I see you so much more clearly than I see me. I just do.
I have one client that I work with as a couple. I learn exponentially more with them. There are not any clients that even come close to jolting me as frequently and deeply as this duo. Applying that learning into my work and life is another thing. Last week, during one of our times together, I stopped him midstream and told him to stop telling his bride that her feelings were misplaced. She smiled from ear to ear inside, I am quite certain. Externally she showed very little emotion. She has wired herself to feel less. Correction, she’s wired herself to show less. Haven’t most of us?
As I explained my argument to him, he took it in and let it rock his heart not just roll around in his head. Men don’t miss this. Our rational thinking and “fix it” mindset, is NOT the one she wants. Most likely this type of thinking has been the bedrock of your business success and has become “second nature.” It just has.
He began to feel what she must feel when he attempts to fix her and her problem. He began to see his bride a bit more clearly. His entire demeanor softened as did hers. Magic in the making.
A few hours later, I received his voicemail that made my day. He described a TALK that he and his bride had just completed. He had caught his brain responding to her signal and wanting to correct her missed perception. He had caught it and stopped it in it’s track. Instead of doing his normal triple D (Defend, Deny, Destroy) when he hears something that doesn’t think is accurate, he started asking her really curious questions. Questions that lead to understanding are freakin’ Magic. She told him more and more and more. At the end of this TALK, they both felt connected and he’s certain that she felt understood. He was beginning to believe.
The power of the curious question.
She’s known it all along. He and me, not so much.
God, help me extrapolate more of my learning to my biggest leadership challenge of leading me.
God, help me rush to judge a little bit less with my Miss.
God, help me see me at least some of the time.
God, help me…
BUILT TO LEAD 