Your driving your car, late at night, on a rain soaked road when your headlights reflect something you don’t really want to see…
Ice.
The car begins to slide to the right and, instantly, you’re smack dab in the middle of a “moment of truth.” What to do? There’s no time to think, there’s no time to waste, there’s no time to do anything except simply react.
When I asked that question to my client this morning, they responded with “hit the brake.” This, of course, is the natural reaction to losing control of your car. You try to get “it” to stop the slide to the right by slowing it’s momentum in that direction. Naturally, you’ve got to somehow slow “it” down.
However, after you’ve been trained by a professional driver you’ll discover that hitting the brakes is the absolute worst reaction you could have. The braking takes the weight off the rear wheels and rapidly moves it to the front of the car which can’t be steered when your foot is planted in the brakes. The spin simply accelerates. You just spun your car out of control. Yikes…
The same is true in your life. Many of Y-O-U love those close to you more than you do your cars. Makes sense. And, when Y-O-U see them “sliding on thin ice,” you feel compelled, as if without thinking, to do whatever you can to stop them. Your attempt to jam on “their” brakes is met by them putting more weight behind their words and actions. Instead of stopping them, just the opposite happens. In essence Y-O-U perpetuate and accelerate their spin out of control. You somehow feel responsible for their action and so you re-double your effort to stop them. You become more and more distressed by their resistance and soon you feel like you too are out of control. And, most likely, you are…
Let’s slow down and return to the physics of controlling a car that is beginning to slide. What would the professional driver tell us to build into our second nature? This could be HUGE. Do NOT miss this…
The professional driver, when sliding to the right, steers into the slide. Quickly. Instantly. Counter-intuitively. Once the car straightens itself out the driver counter-steers until the car’s weight and stance is returned to neutral. Now and only now can the brakes be applied. The professional driver does not do what comes naturally. The professional driver understands fully the physics at play between him and his car. He or she has practiced over and over how to recover from such a spin. They have slowly built a better second nature. Their response is better. They are a virtuous driver. Make sense?
Now it’s time for Y-O-U to think.
How can Y-O-U and I “steer into it” with those we LOVE and transfer the stress and responsibility to “it’s” rightful owner?
Tell me more, my friend.
Tell me more…
BUILT TO LEAD 
I like your analogy.
reminds me of the book ” The Art of Racing in the Rain” and a favorite line in it, “that which you manifest is before you” in other words when you are paying attention and creating you are ready for what happens and not just reacting.
Another thought with regards to your driving and skidding analogy, I was always taught in additon to not hitting the brakes to look at where you want to go and you will go there. Ever see the accident in the winter where someone hit the light pole dead center. Usually they were looking at it hoping they would not hit it?? So my translation from some of your teaching is, where is your shore line? What and where are you aiming in the first place?
MM
We steer to what we’re looking at. What are Y-O-U looking at?
Transform your character…
Aim at the right place.
Figure out the steps to get you to that place.
Practice the steps until they become instinctual…your second nature.
God help me to transform my character where you know it needs to be transformed.
I have been thinking about this blog again. I had a few days that I started spinning. As I was pulling out of it I was discussing the days and straightening out proces with a fellow peer. He immediately gave me these lines from Philippians: 3 12-16 12-14I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
15-16So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.
the point to me is that is my shore line. i can and will aim for that and thus get through any spin. Is it easy, No! but I can see where I want to go and that is all that I need.