Every relationship is laced with conflict that is perpetual, meaning it aint going away.
Ever.
John and Julie Gottmann, the most respected relationship psychologists on the planet, have some freakin’ magic to offer all of us that want more transformational relationships in our work and life. I’ve paraphrased their top 5 ingredients for keeping your perpetual conflict from becoming gridlocked. Here it is. This is helping me and my many relational conflicts. I do not have a shortage here…
1. Choose dialogue over creating distance. Problems are not self healing systems. They get deeper and wider when we don’t talk about them. TALK.
2. See the problem as separate from your partner. This perspective keeps us hopeful. Do you see it?
3. Stop “either or” thinking. Every problem has multiple solutions. Remember the power of “anding.”
4. Perpetual conflict is part of life. Accept this fact. Peace is still possible. Marry this perspective.
5. Find the humor. Remember, we either “laugh or loathe.” Practice laughing at yourself, first and foremost.
God, help me apply this recipe. God, help me build more humility. God, help me have the courage to lead in forgiving and saying that I’m sorry. God, help me stop using words to beat another down and instead only use words to build another up.
God, help me…
BUILT TO LEAD 