I don’t like transitions. Mostly they just happen before realizing it, marked by sadness. Even though Toto calls me GuRue, I know I’m just a student, still journeying toward a basic level of emotional intelligence in areas like this one.
I’d totally forgotten the reminder that opens our September Playbook-of-Productive Action (PoP) page:
“September is a month of transitions. . . With transition comes unexpected emotions that can take you off guard and off course. In the season of life, it’s the crisis of mid-life. It’s a vulnerable time of life that requires a strong CORE. To prepare for the Septembers in life, BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Your I.Q. and left brain may get you in the game but won’t determine how well you play, how long you last, how much fun you have, how satisfying and satisfied you are, and how deeply successful you are and feel. We are all emotional beings. None of us is like Spock. To manage your emotions effectively, you must first master what you are feeling and if you should act on what your particular emotions are calling on you to do.”
A melody line that’s helping me is ‘Tears, Fears & Cheers.’
TEARS. Grief is something you work THROUGH, not just get over. So, ok, I’m sad. But what about? Summer gone? Family vacation over? Baseball season winding down? The early drive that’s dark now? AND…then a couple big ones hit. . .our baby girl now grown up and moving out of the house to start college. . . AND our 28th anniversary coinciding with Connie getting some hard news called Osteoperosis. It’s true, life will be different, and we’re not as young as we used to be.
FEARS. What if this happens? What if that? What if. . . . ? In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis shrewdly surmises the paralyzing insanity of our irrational thinking. “Real resignation sets in when we try to practice fortitude to a dozen different and hypothetical fates” and forget that they are contradictory and incompatible with each other — i.e. they cannot ALL happen to you. By naming your fears, you can practice what Dr. Seligman calls DISPUTING. What are the alternatives? What is the evidence that my fears are real? What are the ultimate implications even if they are? And finally, how useful is it to focus on them?
CHEERS. With clarity on what I was grieving and fearing, my mood began to lift as I began looking for ways to build on what I LOVE in a new way. What Productive Actions can I choose to mitigate the negative stuff? AND what are the new opportunities of this season of life I can TOAST to? CHEERS is CHOOSING to focus on and ACT on the next stage of your BIG DREAM that transition always — yes ALWAYS — affords.
So here’s to your next transition. Don’t do it alone. Pray about it, write and then talk it out with a fellow builder. Together we Improve.
BUILT TO LEAD 