Squeegee…

By way of reminder…

High performance marriages, companies, communities, and all sorts of teams live on a steady diet of conflict. Remember, according to John & Julie Gottman’s research, happy couples and those on the verge of divorce have the same % of “gridlocked conflict.” The number is 69%. 69% that is not going away…EVER.

What about the other 31%? Is there something that distinguishes flourishing, productive relationships and their ability to navigate through the 31% sea of life?

Well, in a word, YES.

Here it is. Do NOT miss this one. This is HUGE.

Happy, high performance couples and teams do lots of little things that really ADD UP. Here’s one. They turn toward each other for repair. When trouble breaks out in river city, they don’t head for the hills. They do NOT blow each other off and they do not run outside to “blow leaves.” They not only turn toward their team, they allow their team to persuade them. They actually take their suggestion and ACT. One of the defining moments for any team, couple, or partnership is when they realize that another is acting on their SUGGESTION. Magic.

Think this has to be on BIG suggestions? Think again.

One of my newer clients told me a really cool story about the power of turning toward each other to resolve conflict. It involved his lover. She wanted the shower “squeegeed” after each shower. It “bugged” her that he never responded. She told him what she wanted. He responded. He made a decidre to ACT. He squeegee’s the shower now, all the time.

Recently, she told him that every time she hears him using that squeegee she tears up. MAGIC.

A thousand little conflicts that total 31%. It MATTERS that you allow your teams to influence their resolution.

Mine for conflict, laugh don’t languish in the big ones that aren’t going away… EVER, turn toward your teams, and start squeegeeing until it’s squeaky clean!

Are you mining for enough conflict?

Are you burying yourself and your teams in a mountain of dust as you sweep EVERYTHING under the rug?

Are you letting your bride influence you? Your spouse? Your best friend? Your partner? Your peer? Your boss? Your directs? Your front line workers? Your neighbors? Your enemies? Your conservative friends? Your liberal friends? Your meida consumption?

How do you square building a strong CORE with allowing those around you to actually influence and persuade you?

Am I speaking out of both sides of my mouth?

Got another idea?

I’m open if you want to talk…