Life is a compilation of our experiences. However, just like the drive to work this morning, much of our experiences happen without our awareness. We drive along in silence, lost in our thoughts or we drive along listening to rock or sports talk. Either way we’ve all had the experience of not remembering if we stopped at the light three intersections ago. We are experiencing and unaware. No big deal, right? You and I know we most likely stopped at red and cruised by green.
Couples, companies, and combinations of any sort share a bunch of moments together. In essence they experience life together. Why then do I hear such different explanations of “what just happened, what went wrong, why we’re out of alignment, and why we’re not on the same page?
Why can’t we just objectively look at what happened, agree to own our shit, and move on?
Here’s a piece of the puzzle.
Not only are we all different when it comes to our awareness of our experiences but we’re all different when it comes to how we talk about it. Some of us have a keen awareness of our feelings and emotions coupled with elaborate language to describe every nuance of what just happened, what went wrong, and why. Others, like every one of the Scott boys, come equipped with basic emotional fabric and language. “Good, not so good, and I already told you” pretty much sum up both experience and awareness.
What just happened between you and your CEO?
What went wrong with your sales forecast?
Why aren’t you doing what I told you to do with Dick, Jane, and Harry?
Why in the world did you think I meant that? Are you paying attention?
Assume less, my friend.
Assume less.
Whatever you think you got out of this rant, it was probably miles away from what I intended. And, when your partner reads it they’ll see something completely different and describe it as simply “not so good,” or a whole lot more. Funny, huh…
BUILT TO LEAD 
And it seems to me that so often what we perceive or speculate others are thinking, is merely a reflection of our own thoughts as if we were in their shoes….For example, recently while on a run, I noticed the drivers expression as I crossed in front and he waited for me to pass. He seemed angry or frustrated at having to wait for me…And then it hit me…Is that really accurate or simply a reflection of my own thoughts if I were sitting there? This question led me to change my lens as I take things in…AND I still ASSUME, and I try to assume positively…Yes, I fall short, and when I do it never works out as well as when assuming positively….It is impossible to see through a mirror….