This is and is not an easy rant to read.
Today, I asked another client what is the greatest gift that he can give to his kids. We were covering some tough territory. We have covered this turf before. I cover this turf so frequently with each and every client that it’s as well worn as your most thread bare stretch of carpet between your two favorite places. Only difference is that this trip is worn from overuse that you could do without. Moving on…
My client told me that he thought the greatest gift that he could give his kids was the gift of his presence. Guess again. Loving them, he replied with reflex like quickness. Guess again. Loving and mastering my craft, he responded. with a touch of frustration creasing his corners. Keep guessing. He reminded me that I can be kinda an ass when it comes to this guessing game. I smiled and remained silent.
He looked down and said he didn’t know where I was going. I told him that twenty years from now his kids, if they’re average American kinda kids, would tell him that the greatest gift he gave them wasn’t a gift he gave them directly but it was a gift they clearly received. Do you know where I’m going now, I asked him.
Nope, not a clue.
Do you?
Tell me more, my friend.
Tell me more…
And, if you want to know what I believe the greatest gift my client can give his kids is, just keep reading. If not, STOP reading now and write what you think, what you believe.
I believe the greatest gift my client can give is the same as the greatest gift I can give my kids. Loving their mother. E Z P Z and NOT.
God, help me receive what I can’t manufacture on my own. God, help me love my bride as you LOVE me. God, a little help please…
BUILT TO LEAD 
If Karl Jung is correct that the most damaging thing in the life of a child is the UN-lived life of its parent… what you’ve written makes all the more sense why our kids are so relationally damaged today, cynical about marriage, and “settling” for living together — which according to statistics is a road to further brokenness and relational failure.
Thanks for the reminder, Toto, to give our kids (and their friends) the vision of what a core-centered, self-controlling marriage can be — there is no greater OPUS we can experience in this life.
I thought the Band might be inspired by something I heard the other day that inspired me. I was talking with a colleague about customer loyalty, and the question of a presence of a relationship between humans and brands. Can it happen? You bet it can. We imbue objects and symbols with meaning, memory, and the spirit of others to recall emotions from the past. We “personify” them. We can “love” them, in that they help us provide context and tools to meet life’s challenges in similar ways a friend or mate might.
She asked, can you remember when you fell in love with Lauri, and why? These are difficult things to put into words, but she quickly answered her own question: “I fell in love with my husband because I saw, reflected in his love for me, the self I wanted to become.”
How gorgeous a thought, and how true. Don’t we all want someone to see us that way? No human can love us the way we want; we’ll all fail at some point, and let our loved ones down. That’s what apology and forgiveness are for.
But what an inspiring ideal–to love someone so well that you help them become the best version of themselves possible!
Beautiful.