We all experience CONFLICT. We get hungry every few hours. We resolve this “conflict” by finding something to eat. Some of us resolve this very basic conflict more productively than others. Some not so much. The same is true for resolving conflict in work and life. I’ve written about this topic on countless occasions. I seemingly TALK about this incessantly and every day it creeps back into view. Every day I choose to resolve conflict. Some days I solve it with “fast food,” while other days I slow down and resolve these problems more wisely. How ’bout you?
BUILT TO LEAD is a team of people that builds strong individuals, strong teams, and strong leaders. We help our family, friends, and clients improve their performance in work and life. We help them resolve conflict. We help them learn productive ways to fight through conflict. We help them laugh and not languish in conflict that is here to stay. We are pretty much conflict conquerors. Consider us your battle ready troops. We’ve been through this WAR before and have learned how to get things done.
It all sounds good. Here’s the reality.
We pretty much SUCK at resolving conflict.
We know who we are in our CORE and we know who are teammates are as well. We know each others personality types. We know their DISC, MBTI, Stengthsfinder, Explanatory style, Learning style, and just about every other style. And yet we still have conflict. We are much better at resolving your conflict than we are at resolving our own.
Maybe therin lies the nugget of wisdom. Maybe that’s the melody line for conquering conflict. Maybe the problem is not fixing that team member that ALWAYS DRIVES YOU CRAZY. Maybe the answer…
Maybe we all need to invest our energy in resolving our OWN conflict. Our internal conflict. Maybe, peace with others starts with PEACE within. Maybe the house most divided is our own. Maybe our own is most divided inside you and inside me. Today as I listened to my client describe his big stressors at his home and at his work, I asked him to write. As he wrote, I told him that he was focused on the wrong stressors. His brides cancer and his new boss are big, don’t get me wrong. His biggest mess, however, is his mess within. He is a man divided. He doesn’t know what he wants. Do Y.O.U.?
What problems do you continue to solve too quickly and not too deeply?
Who do you continue to have conflict with and why?
Have you discovered anything about yourself, your family, your “little voice,” that may be the REAL problem?
Why do you run from a fight?
Why do you run into the room looking for a fight?
Why do you mine for conflict?
Why do you find yourself saying…”just forget it, I can’t talk to you about anything!”
Why do certain people always put you off?
Why are you better at resolving others conflicts than your own?
What internal struggle creates your BIGGEST conflict?
Why? Why? Why?
BUILT TO LEAD 