Not in control…

Today, I’m moving a bit slower than normal. This is NOT the kinda slow you or I want. This slowing down is due to me being down. You see, my Krit has been cut.  And, every ounce of me wishes it had been me…

Krits is not supposed to be in surgery. She’s not supposed to have some kinda shit lump on her neck. She’s not supposed to have some kinda shit lump on her neck that the doctors don’t know what it is. She’s just not.

But the fact remains that she does. And, as I type these letters I am somewhat relieved that the cut is over and she is soon to wake up. The fact, however, remains. My Krits had to have some kinda shit lump removed from her neck and the doctors won’t know what it is for days. And, I can’t do a thing about it. I’m not in control. Never have been, either.  Coming to grips with these facts tends to take your breath away, quickly.

Today my best girl Krits is recovering in KC and her Mom is there. Today, my body is here but my mind is elsewhere. Today, I’ve been reminded of one of my deeply held beliefs; you and I may want control but you and I don’t have control. We cannot control circumstances, other people, and where shit tumors grow. We can only control how we react to the shit tumors in our lives and in the lives of those we love.

Thanks God for giving me a peace about the shit tumor in our best girl, Krits. Thanks God that you are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Thanks God that you are in control. Thanks God that your promises can be trusted. Thanks God.

And, God, please send your peace to our Krits…