Leaders do not need to learn more techniques. Leaders do not need to learn more laws. Leaders do not need more words. Leaders do not need more style. Leaders do not need more political savvy.
Leaders need more nerve.
Friedman was right. The biggest failure across modern leaders is a failure of nerve.
Today as I slowly listened to my cliet describe his “needy” teammate and the moral dilemma that he finds himself facing, I was reminded of how subtle and pervasive this epedimic is spreading. You see, my client isn’t facing an obvious, overt test of great magnitude. Most folks stand up in the major moments, truth be told, better than in the minor ones. It’s a thousand tiny, miniscule “compromises” that suddenly, oftentimes years later, lead to a failure of nerve that you and I actually notice. The noticed failure was actually in the making a bunch of minor failures earlier. Nobody, however, had the nerve to tell the leader he needed more nerve. Funny, huh…
Today, I told my client that his needy teammate is NOT the problem. I told my client that he is. I rubbed his face in it until he could actually smell it and taste it. I didn’t do this because I wanted to beat him down, power over him, or show him how smart his builder. I rubbed his face in it because I want him to remember.
We concluded our practice with conclusions; his. He wrote out his solution to his problem. He didn’t have a moral dilemma. Turns out all he had was a failure of nerve. He smiled and thanked me for making him think. I returned his smile and thanked him for owning his shit.
Today as you evaluate what is troubling you, remember that it’s probably not your spouse, your son, your mother in law, your CFO, CEO, COO, your neighbor, or even your “needy” teammate. What is most likely troubling you, at its troubling root, is your own failure of nerve. You, my friend, need more nerve.
Do you have a truth teller strong enough to make you do what you can? Do you have a truth teller that rubs your face in it? Do you have a truth teller that values truth over your friendship? And, if you think you’re hearing the truth at home or from someone under your employ, think again. The truth is that you and I are more likely to hear the truth from someone that “cares, but NOT that much.” Try asking someone that fits that description or, better yet, ask someone that doesn’t care at all because that someone doesn’t like you. Talk about some kinda nerve. That one will challenge the best of us. Again, the real problem pops its ugly, obvious head…
Y.O.U. and I need more nerve.
BUILT TO LEAD 