I recently invested some time with a couple of beautiful young folks that are both winners in all kinda ways. These two are learning to become autonomous and struggling, at the same time, to remain together. They are becoming distinct and disconnected. This is painful to watch and excruciating to experience. They are working their way through this struggle and it sucks and really hurts.
Acutely.
Remember, if you are in the midst of something that seems to suck and seems to be doing nothing but getting worse, this is part in parcel to every relationship of any kinda depth. The peaceful coexistence doesn’t come from an endless array of “bon bon’s.” Chocolate is good, more chocolate is probably better but it doesn’t deeply satisfy. Something sweeter or something stronger won’t do the trick for long either. We are meant for deep, meaningful relationships and we don’t build those on easy street. Becoming distinct and deeply connected will require that we go through a “dis” or two along the way. This will hurt and we’ll feel more alone than ever. We want to suck on something sweet or drink something strong but it won’t translate to transformation within or with another. We will have to swallow hard and move toward another anyway. We will have to deeply connect when we feel we’ve been wronged. We will have to hang in there when we’re being greeting by “get lost.” We will have to learn to hear the yearning enveloped in the nastygram shell.
All transformational relationships are built when someone, someone hurting, someone on the brink of losing it, someone tired, and someone very human and used to getting things his or her way, makes a crazy decision. A crazy decision that doesn’t fit their normal paridigm and may or may not be greeted with a smile or kind word. What is this crazy decision that every couple, every company, and every community needs to catalize it toward becoming ONE? Simple. Somebody has to choose to lose.
Choose to lose.
God, help me see the wisdom in losing more. God, help me learn to understand victory within allows me to embrace taking second with another. God help me lose. God, help me.
God, help me choose to lose…
BUILT TO LEAD 