Today, in practice nine with a team of 9, I kinda went off a bit. We’re working on the first essential in the 8 playbook; Building Trust. The leaders haven’t done a virtuous job of going first. I picked a fight with both of them in front of everyone. It was uncomfortable and ugly. A few choice words were spoken. A STAND was taken by one I didn’t know had it in him. A couple elephants got shot. I explained why SEAL leaders start “van fights” to build unity within a team.
And, I role played what happens when leaders withold information from the team. I shot up from my chair and pretended to be one of the “field crew” on this team having a conversation with another crew member about what we assumed our leaders were up to. I can’t recall the words I used or even where they came from. I simply slipped into the role of an uninformed and scared associate; I see lots. I assumed the worst and played it out in living color. As I took my seat all eyes were on me and I know I looked crazed and out of control. My face was flush as if I’d really been in a full lather. I crossed the line so many times I’m certain it looked like a zipper.
Somehow,something made sense. One of the team of 9 blurted out, as if by reflex, that what I had just said was verbatim what he heard at the most recent team meeting. He was lit up and jumped into the mix with his leaders like I’d not seen prior. A bit more truth was told. The leaders let it in and did a great job NOT shutting it down.
We walked out of practice nine with some real PA to build trust. Elephants, you see, don’t belong in the boardroom; but they’re there. Virtuous leaders understand these elephants are there and won’t go away by simply ignoring them or attempting to work around them. The elephant in the room is eliminated slowly, the same way it got there in the first place. Today, the team of nine shot a couple elephants. It’s gonna take quite a few “van fights,” however to eliminate ’em.
Trust, it turns out, is built more sustainably through shooting elephants, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, and role playing what everybody is afraid to say, than it is by studying principle and precept. Deep trust that leads to real unity has to be fought for. Next practice, don’t tell anybody, I’m thinking about starting a van fight…
BUILT TO LEAD 