Normal humans do NOT tell you what they are thinking. Normal humans use too many words and say too little. Normal humans have learned that it pays to play this kinda game especially in the world of work. These same humans can’t seem to help playing a similar game when they find themselves out of control and in love.
Everyday, in every single BTL practice, I have a birdseye view watching normal humans play this kinda game. I’ve become an expert at “reading between the lines,” so to speak. I call this kinda communication out in ccd fashion (clear, concise, and direct)and fill in the blanks for the receiver. Oftentimes this bubbles up conflict and makes both sides a bit uncomfortable. We deal with it. We get to the root and get on with it. We save time in the process. Truth does that.
Sometimes my sense is off and I read the sender incorrectly. I repair and off we go. This is about ten percent of the time. I’m viewed as an ASS about 45% of the time and kinda freaky almost always. This is simply part of the gig. My assessment and accuracy for what was left out, however, is spot on nearly 90% of the time. My point is coming and it’s not about me…
Normal humans are predictable. All you have to do is study them and you will see their pattern. The problem with you and your ability to recognize the most important patterns around you is also quite simple. We suck at recognizing patterns when we are ever so slightly afraid of the sender. This explains why normal humans miss all kinda subleties sent by their BOSS. And, we suck at recognizing patterns sent by those that we love. This explains why so many parents miss so many early warning signals from their offspring. Yes, love is blind.
Do your system, your spouse, your offspring, and your team a favor. Tell them what you are thinking. Spell it out clearly. Use fewer words. Ask them what they “heard.” Fill in the blanks for them. And, ask them to do the same with you. The truth, it turns out, can only set you free if you embrace the pain that comes along with it.
Most wars are simply the result of conflicts that sat in somebody’s craw a bit too long. Most mutiny is more of the same. Fear is like a fog – kinda clouding up the truth. Love just blinds us from the obvi. This is why you need a few truth tellers studying you. This is why you need a friend to really see your lover. This is why you are not meant to go it alone. This is why the SEAL Trident has an eagle with its head bowed down. This is why the second essential in the BTL 12 playbook is titled, Humility…
Who is helping you?
BUILT TO LEAD 