Thank God….

The greatest leaders push their team to do what they can. The best of the best believe, oftentimes, before the one doing the work does. These leaders are challenging from belief and it mostly enters the one doing the work as energy.

Challenging is an art, however, and most CEO’s and business owners are far from mastering this part of their craft. Oftentimes, well intentioned leaders challenge the one doing the work and it’s deflating and destructive albeit unintended. These kinda challenges enter the one doing the work as energy zapping.

Bummer for both…

The problem is further complicated by the relational dynamic. Most leaders are next to clueless emotionally. In fact, they got into their position of power by reasoning their way forward in spite of their feelings. They have learned to subdue their emotions and it’s enabled them to remain calm, make strategic decisions, and keep moving in spite of the anxiety all around. The unintended consequence is that they have dulled their tuneage to others emotions, not simply their own. Yikes.

And, the one doing the work further clouds the issue. You see, they are filled with fear of the one in charge. So, when he/she deflates and de-energizes they shut down, go turtle and when they finally garner the courage to TALK, it’s to some coworker confidant that does nothing but make them feel better by listening.

Nothing wrong with feeling better by getting something off your chest but, sadly, nothing righteous has happened.

Yesterday, I built a couple leaders by giving them direct feedback to their face about their lack of mastery in this area. I asked them some good “why” questions and made them “tell me more” until they talked themselves into their own corrective action. We will be building their ability to challenge from belief for a long, long, long time. This is a master skill that doesn’t develop but by real, hard, work and tons of practice followed by feedback – feedback that is as close to immediate as it can be delivered.

Your system is most likely led by a well intentioned leader who is far from perfect when it comes to challenging the troops. You most likely see this. You most likely could help your leader recognize this too. Your problem is you are too scared to speak truth in love. Your problem is you are “weighing the costs” just a bit too long. The benefits don’t seem to match the cost, so you stay quiet.

I guess it comes down to what you believe about your leader. Do you believe he wants to drain you and your teammates of energy and leave you feeling all beat up by friday? Or do you believe he is trying to push for the best and needs a little help?

Of course, if you believe the first the obvious question you’ve got to ask yourself is why are you following a tyrant? Why are you giving your best years to someone draining you? Why? And, if you believe like the second, why won’t you help someone who is clearly in need of some information he can use? Why would you let him continue to deplete you and your team and just take up drinking to further the downhill decline? Again, do you see why your worldview is so doggone important? Your deepest held beliefs drive your behavior and yet you hardly own your own. Think and write about that for awhile till it hurts…

It’s friday, yes it is. I’m all fired up for today and for the weekend. And, I’m all fired up for Monday too. TGFTA. Thank God for the AND. Thank God…