This morning, in an early am practice with one of my clients, we wandered into the BTL 12 playbook and read page 196 – the opening page to building your emotional intelligence. He read. I tuned in. When he finished reading in his well worn playbook he looked up at me and told me what he was thinking. As he shared his thinking my brain took it all in and processed like a banchee. Within a few seconds I knew the direction he wanted to go and I knew how best to get us there. I can’t explain it, I just knew. We were locked in and nobody had to tell me. FM, baby.
I said nothing but could feel a smile creasing my facee.
As my client continued to lead practice, his way, I nudged him along with a few stories that seared him. He played back what he had heard as we wound down practice and assigned himself some really killer PA. He asked that we continue onto page 197 for our next practice as we really wants to learn how to become a master regulator of his own emotions and the emotions of his team. I agreed with his direction and nodded as I continued to write my practice notes.
We have been practicing for years to be able to taste our tagline – together we improve. We have been practicing for years to build the kinda trust few taste. Deep trust, built slowly in these kinda practices, allows our brains the great gift it requires to work at it’s best – the gift of calm. You see, your brain is wired to keep you alive, first and foremost so it’s kinda on edge more than most of us can even imagine. Brains rush to judge by default cause they gotta keep their owner safe. Sadly, they can’t do their best thinking when “fight or flight” kinda chemicals are flowing.
This is why building trust is the first essential to building great teams and why few taste chemistry with another. Deep trust takes time, lots of practice, tons of repair work and a master regulator of the runaway train in your brain – your emotions. The enemy to this kinda trust is anxiety. Chemistry starts with calm. There are always storms and there will always be worries. Your job, if you want to lead anything, is to be present with your team and help them lead themselves forward. You gotta be calm and be able to calm another. Chemistry is the one you want and it starts with the gift of calm. Slow down and reflect…
Practice, my friend. Lots of practice. God, help me build this master skill. God, help me trust in you and receive the calm that comes with knowing how the story ends. God, help me…
BUILT TO LEAD 
Btw this kind of “calm” is not the same as “emptying” yourself…. It is part of slowing down….which few do alone…or together
It’s a gift that those who have learned it can give away. You can’t give away what you haven’t….