Yesterday, during practice 78, a team of twenty something built some trust. Their leader is slowing them so they can individually and then collectively, pick up speed – speed that’s sustainable.
Remember, sustainable, high performance teams are built on deep trust. Personal, ethical, strategic, and situational trust are the ingredients to team chemistry which is trust at it’s highest level. One of the favorite exercises we facilitate at BTL we’ve named “7 good minutes.” The purpose of the exercise is to build situational trust. Quick reminder. Situational trust in a sentence is when your team believes in your ability, desire, and willingness to understand them and their situation. This kind of trust leads team members to switch from wanting to “stick it to the man” to simply “stickin’ with this HUman. This is HUge.
The exercise is simple. You can try this at home and at work.
Step 1. Set aside time to play “7 good minutes” with one person that you want to better understand.
Step 2. Ask them curious questions. Only ask questions that lead to understanding. Do not interrogate. Start easy and progressively go deeper. Maintain eye contact in a curious, not creepy kinda way.
Step 3. Do not comment. Do not attempt to fix. Practice being curious. Do not rush to judge. Notice how hard this is. Focus your mind exclusively on the other person. Wherever they go, go with them. Ask them to “tell me more.” Relax. Lose yourself in understanding another. Remember, the brain loves it when you only ask it to go in one direction. Funny, huh…
Step 4. Switch roles and start over with Step 1.
You just spent 7 good minutes understanding and being understood. How did it feel? What did you learn? How can you apply what you learned to improve performance? Who else do you need to understand instead of rushing to judge and attempting to fix?
And, you know conflict is not a problem to avoid but a conversation to be had. You know you got some and not sure how to deal. You know this is true. You know you tend to wait, however, before you do. Normal…
Well, it turns out Anatol Rapport’s formula doesn’t limit you to 7 minutes but it is almost the same formula as ours for resolving conflict. You can check out her “blueprint” on page 241-242 of John and Jule Gottmans book 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. I’ve found that what works at home works, period. 7 & 7 is not my idea of a good drink, but it is a great formula for building situational trust…if you pour one for you and your team you just might agree. All it takes is time.
Who you pouring into, today? Who you letting pour into you, today? Tell me more, my friend. Tell me more…
BUILT TO LEAD 