Positive people tend to over-estimate their positivity.
Positive people oftentimes are riled up by a negative Ned who kinda drives them nuts. I guess you could say a lot of positive people tend to see negative people, will, negatively. In fact, I often hear my clients describe their negative counterpart, partner, or bride, as a perpetual Debbie downer and go so far as to blame them for making life miserable. Funny, huh…
Your partner cannot make you miserable – only you can do that. So, when you begin to go all victimhood on yourself pull yourself up (positively, I might add) by your bootstraps and remind yourself to stay curious instead of defaulting toward damnation. I mean, come on man, aren’t you the positive piece to this puzzle?
As you empathize through your curious questions find what is valid about another person’s position. Listen for the yearning oftentimes buried behind the bitching. And, if you discover there is nothing there but complaining and negativity, brush it off. See the behavior as some kinda adult form of crying and STOP fueling it. Let it go.
Positive people regulate negativity. Truly positive people change the temperature in the room and like a virtuous thermostat provide the proper environment for performance. Positive leaders understand we need all types in the room to balance us out. Positive leaders learn from the contrarian, the cynic, the company man/woman, and the cheerleader.
Your problem, if you’re like most leaders I run into, is you over-estimate your positivity. Think about it for awhile. When you slow down and reflect, you gotta admit it’s kinda humorous how we all relate. Funny, huh…
BUILT TO LEAD 