God glasses…

Recently, a client expressed concern regarding his partner. He and his partner are struggling in their relationship and he’s not convinced his partner can change. He told me that he sees this as a foundational problem and he’s losing hope. His vision was in need of some correction; he wasn’t seeing his foundational problem. Are you seeing what I’m seeing…

Your problem is your problem. Your partner, your boss, your buddy, your son, your sister, your bride, or your brother are not your problem. Your problem is NOT another person. Your problem is how you respond, react, and relate to another. Your problem is you think you see other people’s problems with 20/20 clarity. Your problem is that your thinking is flawed. You cannot see another person’s problem with 20/20 clarity because you cannot see inside another person’s soul now can you. You and I are not God. Assuming we know another persons problem is kinda like assuming we are God. Yikes.

Your problem is your problem.

Your problem is NOT another person. If you are trying to mediate a problem with a teammate, if you trying to salvage your marriage through counseling, or if you are working on any other relationship in your world, your problem will not get better until you fix your focus. Your focus is most likely misplaced.

You will know this to be true with a simple test. Ask yourself to fill in the blank on a couple statements. Try to answer honestly. This will be hard. Done honestly, this will hurt acutely.

1. My partner needs to deeply change (fill in the blank).
2. I need to deeply change (fill in the blank).

Which statement was easier to complete? Where could you write a book vs. struggle to get out a sentence? Which statement was filled with concrete examples? Which one was top of mind? Which was clearer? Want better relationships? Focus on you. Focus on getting clarity on question number two and giving the benefit of the doubt to your partner, your number one. Fix you. Love your number one. Good luck trying to do either on your own.

God, I think I could use some glasses. My vision needs some kinda correcting. I need to see what YOU see. I need some God glasses, if you will. God glasses. Good…