Earlier this week, during a practice with a really high performing system, I pushed a team of leaders outside their comfort zone. I pissed off more than a few. Contrary to what many of my family, friends, and clients think, I do NOT enjoy angering another. As a leader you are gonna, oftentimes, be unpopular with those you love and lead. FACT. Embrace this pain and lean into it.
Every week and I mean every, single week at least one of my clients brings me a problem seeking clarity and counsel. I ask clarifying then challenging questions and most times they come up with the way forward. And then the punch line is delivered. “My only problem, Chet, with this solution is I’m afraid of coming off looking like some kinda ASS.” If I’ve heard those words once make it one thousand. All day. Friedman was right, our modern leader suffers acutely from a failure of nerve…
Your job, if you’re a leader, isn’t to worry about how you come off to those you lead. Your job is to lead. And, nothing gives you real courage and conviction more than following this recipe. Do NOT attempt to hit humans with the truth unless you begin by looking within, first.
1. Do I love this human enough to hurt them with some tough, truth in love? If yes, proceed to the next question.
2. Am I in the right place, right time, and right frame of mind to proceed calmly, cooly, and with a FACT based lawyers argument behind my thinking? If yes, proceed.
3. Do I see with cyrstal clarity why this needs to be said? Can I tie it to improving performance individually and/or collectively? If yes, proceed asap. Your problem is, most likely, you’ve been waiting too long.
4. Remember, humans mostly listen to their own ideas so you gotta master the art of good questions and make ’em think it is their idea; yours, not so much. You cannot do this unless you go in to these kinda conflicts open and ready to listen, really listen. The reason my hit rate is high lies here. Listen, friend. Listen. Tune in like an animal being stalked. Funny, huh.
The world is filled with faux leaders who, out of fear, fail to speak and listen to their teammates with the unvarnished truth in love. This team underperforms as a result. Jesus is right, friend. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Learn from the master, please. You are not helping you or your teammate by worrying about what they think, or worrying about how you’ll come across. You have misplaced worry. Instead, look up and look within. Get clear about your motives. And, with a full, whole heart go and don’t expect it to go swimmingly, either. Go, anyway.
Good. You and your team just got better; bitter, not so much. Good…
BUILT TO LEAD 