Human hearing…

Humans do not hear well when they’re hurting. And, most humans are hurting most of the time. Humans have a hearing problem and mostly listen to one voice above all others – their own.

The addict listens to his own voice no different than the affluent, the homeless, the young, or the very, very old. So, if you want to help your teen, your teammate, your parent, or your peer, remember, they don’t want to hear your persuasive speech as to why they ought to STOP or start something. They listen to their internal reason for recovering something they sense is lost, or something they wish to find, or re-discover, or even recover. Ask them some questions. Stir their thinking. Start hypothetically speaking.

And, remember most addictions are born and bred during the transitions of life. Tune in to your teen. Ask a ton of interested questions during Sunday suppers. Tune in to your peer struggling with his work, with his wife, or somewhere in life. Addictions are born and bred during times of transition because these times are filled with feelings we’de rather deaden vs. deal with. Addictions are a feelings disorder more than you and I tend to think. The world wants us to categorize addicts as people with a particular problem – a character disorder.

See your problem child as someone hurting and hiding. Change your mind about what is wrong with ’em. Tune in. Grab hold of your own emotions and get ready for some tough love a coming. And, lead with curious questions that cause them to think. Remember, the addict, the affluent, and the teammate listen to their own ideas no different than you. Master the art of the curious and challenging question. Practice asking these questions of yourself and toward others aimed at yourself, before you decide to master taking the challenge to the street, so to speak. The worlds greatest teachers, remember, are students first and foremost. Become a student of yourself, first. When it comes time to deliver some tough love around your neighborhood, it’ll go down a whole lot better if you’ve been kicking your own, first.

Good…