A Hearing Aid for Leaders: “Play it Back…”

If speaking is just the beginning of hearing, and hearing the beginning of listening, and listening the beginning of understanding, and understanding the beginning of connecting — no wonder becoming a master connector is a lot harder than it “sounds”!

Actually, it’s even more complicated —

The message you actually SAY with your words is seldom exactly the one you INTENDED to say. And since words are only 7% of what someone else BELIEVES about your message, the message received is what’s re-translated through your tone of voice (38%) and body language (55%). Then the message “heard” is filtered through someone’s understanding of what they heard (our brains are their own translators — “we don’t hear the things the way they are … we hear things the way WE are”) which is then filtered through someone’s worldview/beliefs/paradigm/perceptions of what they are primed to hear before finally being converted into what they “takeaway” from your message.

A client lamented with frustration about a “done deal” hijacked out of nowhere by his competitor. As we did a post mortem, we identified yet another communication barrier – the familiar “Curse Of Knowledge” (thank u Elizabeth Newton). When you have the C.O.K., you can’t remember what it was ever like NOT to “C.O.K” — which blinds you to think others “see ok” too when they don’t.

This is why Master Connectors assume “hard of hearing” is part of the human condition. Master connectors make no OTHER assumptions, and attack communication barriers and the Curse of Knowledge by practicing the hearing aid called “play it back.”

“I think I understood most of what you were just trying to tell me, but let me play it back to see if I got it straight. Feel free to ‘and’ or correct anything I may have missed, ok?”

And when roles are reversed and you are the sender, have your receiver play back what they heard in their own words. Like building a bridge from two sides, Master Connectors know it usually takes 2-3 rinses before communication is aligned.

Want to be a better connector? Want to instill higher power of recall? Want to impart more ownership of your message?

Master the art of “play it back.” Together We Improve.