Get them…

Next time you encounter an irrational attack from your beloved, do not attempt to calm, do not attempt to fix, do not attempt to greet their irrational attack with your rationale – it will not work. Instead, absorb. Hear the attack as a cry for help from your beloved and give them something equally irrational.

Understand them. Get them. STOP trying to fix them.

You see, when our loved ones get all irrational toward those they love it’s usually to get our attention in some way, shape, or form. It only makes sense they would appear as irrational in an emotionally charged moment where their motive is to get another moving. When you think about it this way, it only makes sense. Most irrational behavior between loved ones is wrapped in one thought – Get me.

Here’s where weak leaders loose their nerve. Unnerved by the emotion of another, all too often the leader returns something equally irrational to the one trying desperately to get their attention – they send ’em some anger and it ain’t righteous. The leader sends them some of the dismissive stuff. The loved one tends to respond one of two ways. Either the loved one feels discounted and unleashes everything they’ve got, or they simply shut down and go all turtle. What ensues is an unproductive fight of oftentimes epic proportion. Not good.

Next time you walk into a heated situation with another remember the recipe for leading a loved one or a high performer is the same. You gotta greet their irrational behavior with an equally irrational response. You cannot respond rationally to irrational people. All situations are different and eerily similar at the same time. My recommendation is that the leader begins by squaring up their shoulders, facing directly toward their emoter, and calmly, loving respond with something unexpected and really, really hard.

Get them.

Give them the gift of understanding. Get them. Who knows what you’ll get. One thing we do know, however, is it’s really hard to stay enflamed when my fire is greeted by your cool. Good…