That guy…

“I’m not heard.” If I had a dime for how many times I hear that refrain each and every week…

Today in practice with a general in the making, he began with that well worn refrain. I took a couple deep breathes, calmed my mind, asked him to tell me more, and so he did. He told me about his recent convo with a teammate discussing our last practice. His teammate thought the practice sucked because it was all about bringing me up to speed instead of taking the team forward. My client asked him to write me, the King, and himself. He did not. My client and his teammate were feeling that the King wasn’t hearing them, so they were talking about it. I told my client the same thing I’ve told so many during the thirteen years mastering this craft.

He’s a good soldier but not such a good general.

I want him to take his King on a bit more when he feels he’s not being heard. I want him to be “that guy.” That guy who cares more about doing what is right than playing it safe. That guy who cares more about making the system better than protecting his piece of it. That guy who know’s who he is, where he’s going, and can’t wait to take the team and even his King along for the ride. He walked me through his thinking. He, kinda like Cam last night in the Sleeper Bowl, thought too much and took too long to release his thinking. Cam held onto the ball a bit too long. My clients hold onto their thinking too long. The best generals/leaders are more reflexive than reflective in regards to reacting. These leaders have learned to trust themselves and their motives more than wade into the murky, muddy waters of their fears. You too could most likely benefit from becoming a bit more reflexive in your reaction time. Good. You too can always repair if you go too far.

I’m a believer. You can see this in my behavior. My client thinks he’s a believer too. I told him some hard truth. I don’t see it in his behavior. Prove it to me, I challenged him. He didn’t particularly like this but he made note. He heard me. He didn’t like the message but his writing told me he got it. Good. I reminded him that even though I grew up in Kansas, I’m mostly from Missouri – you gotta show me. The proof will be when he tells me about his challenging convo with his King, not his childlike convo with his fellow soldiers, me, or whatever. Challenge because you want to make those around you better. Challenge your King because you want to make him better. We ended practice with me asking my client why he listens to me. “Because you believe what you’re telling me and I believe you want to make me better,” he replied without so much as thinking.

Be “that guy.” Good.