Imagine your future for a moment. Think about what you will be like at age 90. Regardless of how close or how far, none of us is very good at accurately imagining our future. When I ask clients what they most regret as they look back on life, most speak of regret in terms of something they’ve done. When I change the question to what they think they will most regret at 90, most speak of something they failed to do – like not spending enough time with their kids, spouse, or not really understanding who they are.
When we think of the present we regret acts of commission and when we forecast we almost always think we’ll regret acts of ommission. This really doesn’t make sense, does it? Actually, it does. You see, our brain doesn’t keep track of our ommissions. So, as we ask it to remember what we’ve deeply regretted to date, it seeks and doesn’t find much we’ve failed to do but an abundance of stuff we stepped in when we did. This explains why so many of us have an abundance of fear when it comes to doing and not so much when it comes to delaying. We cannot forecast how we’ll feel if we hold onto our conflict with another teammate for years, but we are certain it won’t stink as much as stepping into it now. So we wait. And, we don’t even seem to regret it – until we imagine ourselves at 90. Funny, huh.
Today, realize you tend toward inaction out of fear. ACT. Today, come to grips that you aren’t good at forecasting pain either. However much pain you think your action will produce, you are overestimating it. Embrace acute pain. It will be over before you know it. Today, choose commitment over freedom. When you tell yourself you don’t have an out, its amazing what you get done. Give yourself some PA without an out. Remember Yoda here. “Do or do not. There is no try.” Good.
You and I are happiest when we choose PA, acute pain, and commitment. Doesn’t make sense at first blush, but it does…
