There is a reason the second essential in the 12 Essentials of Personal Excellence playbook is titled Build your humility. You see, pride has been the biggest divider of humans since the beginning. If our aim is to unite with even one other, we’re gonna have to build within a strong sense of self, all while not getting full of self. Simple, not easy.
Here are some disciplines I’m attempting to habituate toward the aim of beating mine back a bit. Pride is not one of my problems – it’s my biggest!
Find and admit where I am prideful. I am most prideful of my mind, work, and will.
Stop comparing myself to you. Pride always compares. Dang it.
Admit weaknesses. I suck at structure and order. I’m not tender unless I really love you. Details disturb me.
Ask for help. I rarely let another human lend me a hand unless it’s Littlest building/repairing stuff around the house. I’m reluctant to put my hand out. God, help me.
Seek feedback from a few. Thank you to my few – very few. Thank you, Miss, more than any other, I think…
Practice gratitude. I suck at this. My natural attitude is I worked my ASS to accomplish this, get onboard or get out of my way. God, help me…
Keep my strong CORE in perspective; look up.
Look in the mirror more when looking for someone to blame. Look out the window more when looking for who to give credit. Damn.
Praise others, even those we compete with. I suck at this too.
Celebrate the success of others. See above. I suck less here if you’re on our team.
Ask more questions than provide answers. I’m getting better here, unless your answers display a lack of mental gymnastics or, worse yet, a lack of effort. I despise laziness.
Listen. Really listen to my family, friends, and clients. Limit my use of technology, leave my mobile behind, clear my mind from the past, the future, and away from my insecurities, and look another in the eye and receive all that they are sending. This is exhausting and can only be done in fits and starts. God, help me…
Share credit with others. Oh come on man, you and I both know they barely did anything, at least regarding the heavy lifting. I’m alright with acknowledging another but do we really have to give them credit?
Stop seeking justice. Replacing revenge with Grace is so unnatural and oftentimes even offensive to my face.
Practice repairing relationships. Easier when I think it was my bad that caused the break, not so easy when I’m stung from your betrayal. Man do I get stung easily too. God, my sense of perspective is warped.
Start practicing “unmerited” forgiveness. Alright, alright, but what if the other never seems to take responsibility for anything. What then?
When in doubt (I’m often in doubt, btw) re-read a little Lewis to knock me off my self built pedestal.
“The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.”
C.S. Lewis
What’s your biggest problem, friend? Slow down. Reflect. Write. Look in the mirror. If this doesn’t hurt, reread Lewis. Pain is inevitable. Misery a choice. Damn.
Live hard. Love harder…
BUILT TO LEAD 