90…

Think about what you’ll be like at age 90 (sorry, mom, this one doesn’t really apply to you).

Regardless of how close or how far, none of us is very good at accurately imagining our future. When I ask clients what they most regret as they look back at life, most speak of regret in terms of something they’ve done. When I change the question to what they think they’ll regret at 90, most speak of something they failed to do – like not spending enough time with their kids, spouse, or not really understanding who they are. When we think of the present we regret acts of commission. When we forecast, we think we’ll regret acts of omission.

This really doesn’t make sense, does it?

Actually, it does. Our brain doesn’t keep good track of our omissions, so as we ask it to remember what we’ve deeply regretted, it doesn’t find anything we failed to do but an abundance of shit we stepped in when we did. This explains why so many of us have an abundance of fear when it comes to doing and not so much when it comes to not. We cannot forecast how we’ll feel if we hold onto our conflict with another teammate for years, but we are certain it won’t stink as much as stepping into it now. So we wait. And, don’t even seem to regret it.

Until we imagine ourselves at 90. Damn.

You and I tend toward inaction. Fact. Here’s the recipe for more PA (productive action) and less regret.

Admit you suck at forecasting pain – you overestimate it.

Embrace acute pain. It will be over before you know it.

Preload your pain response. When you tell yourself you don’t have an out, its amazing what you get done.

When climbing the French Alps I told myself there was no option to stop. My mind overruled muscles. I was free to stop or turn around at any point. However, my preloaded commitment kept the pedals turning all the way to every summit. It was a satisfying victory over self.

You see, friend, we’re happiest when we choose to act into fear, when we choose PA, acute pain, and commitment. Commit. Do the work. Face your fears by acting into them. Don’t give yourself an out. Doesn’t make sense at first blush, but it does.

What acute pain would eradicate some of your chronic stuff? Life is risk. Baby step into it. Remember, it’s only gonna hurt for a short while. Kairos memories last a lifetime. LFG.

Live hard. Love harder…