Most parents are super-tuned toward their children. We don’t miss a game or piano recital. We hire tutors and trainers as if their college entrance depended on it. We give them the best of everything and do our darndest to shelter them from the storm. We want them to have every advantage we can possibly provide. We spare no expense. We even monitor their whereabouts via our iphones and all kinda tracking apps to make sure they make it safely to their destinations. We know the world is a terrifying place and worry little Johnny’s a bit naive.
We are naive. In fact, clueless.
Did you know the only category American teens are leading the world in is the one category where we wish they were lagging. While we line up their next tutor and arrange their next learning event, they are distressed, anxious, and overwhelmed by it all. So, they smoke. I mean they really smoke. Our teenagers, according to research done by David Sheff in his book Clean, are making it no contest when it comes to drug consumption. American teens are leading the way when it comes to drinking, smoking, inhaling, injecting, swallowing, snorting, and huffing all kinda shit to get high. Actually, the aim is simply to get by…
When parents are asked to rank the 16 reasons why they think their kids are getting high, we list “drugs are fun” as numero uno; teens, not so much. Teens rank “drugs are fun” as number 15 out of 16. Teens top three?
- “Forget their troubles.” (32%)
- “Deal with problems at home.” (24%)
- “Cope with school pressure.” (20%)
We, as parents, remain clueless. “Just say no” did NOT work. DARE was an epic fail. Programs cannot replace a parent, over Sunday supper, asking their teens curious questions. And, keep asking when the response is a grunt or a growl. And, keep asking when it’s a glare. And just say no, parent, to another event, another distraction, or another night on the road. We, as parents, can keep asking, keep asking, and keep asking. We can stay interested and connected even when given The Heisman repeatedly. Simple, not easy. Some evening, some afternoon there will be an opening. The prepared, available parent will have a chance.
Drug addiction is mostly a feelings disorder. Drug abuse is a symptom of something deeper. This isn’t a couple beers kinda experiment going down. This is a widespread epidemic of teens falling for drugs paradoxical promise to help them feel more, and help them feel less. And they deliver.
There are no easy answers. Listening over Sunday suppers, may be a good start. Asking God for help, a humble must. Praying for courage to know when to stay curious and when to get challenging. Praying for wisdom. Asking family and friends for help. The list goes on and on.
Preparing the road for them doesn’t work. Instead, prepare them for the road. It’s too late for me. There are no redo’s at parenting. We don’t get them back for a second session after they’re on their own. Time is of the essence. Maybe this rant is just in time for you. I pray it is so. It’s Sunday. Supper?
Live hard. Love harder. Much harder…
BUILT TO LEAD 