Please, please…always do this.

If you haven’t had time to read yesterday’s blog “3 May” this one won’t make much sense.

After returning from the wars, Colonel Lewis became “Chip” to me. We continued to battle enemies together. These ones unseen to the untrained eye. Impossible to explain exactly who the enemy was or where it came from. But it was always – there.

I was not looking into the abyss – I had become the abyss.

Chip and I would call each other, sometimes, at 2:00 or 3:00 AM, sometimes crying, sometimes articulate, sometimes making no sense at all.

Chip died on 29 September 2014.

I was asked to speak at his interment on 30 January 2015.

Here is the eulogy I gave on that day:

My entire life has revolved around honor. And today is one of the greatest honors of my entire life, to speak about a man I knew well. A man who epitomizes the word ‘honor’.

Col Lewis was my commander. Chip Lewis was my friend.

Col Lewis was my commander in Iraq in 2006 and 2007. For those of you who were there – you understand. For those of you who weren’t, I will tell you that during this time Iraq was the most dangerous place in the entire world. The fighting was so intense, the violence so unreal that I cannot come up with words to describe it. During that time the war hung in the balance. The surge was in full swing and Col Lewis and I had to accomplish our mission at any cost.

Col Lewis did not go to Iraq because he had to. He didn’t go because he needed a good officer evaluation report, or because he needed to go to get promoted. Col Lewis went because he was a soldier, a leader and a warrior. He went because our great nation was at war. Going to war was what Col Lewis was meant to do – and he did it well.

I watched Col Lewis work day after day for 14 straight months. He worked day and night. He built meaningful relationships with the Iraqis we were trying to help. He risked his life often wanting to see the battle on the front-lines with his own eyes.

Col Lewis cared deeply about the war. He wanted to win. Col Lewis cared about the Iraqis he was working alongside. And Col Lewis cared about all of his men. I was one of those.

I was fortunate enough to be awarded this nation’s third highest award for valor. I was awarded the Silver Star for a battle that Col Lewis sent me into. I had the opportunity to have LTG Ray Odierno pin on my Silver Star but I declined. I wanted my commander – Col Lewis – to pin it on me. It was the proudest moment of my life.

Col Lewis was a great commander. I spent many years in combat and I only had three great commanders. Col Lewis was one of those. He was smart, persistent, and passionate. He led from the front. He was a true commander.

Chip Lewis was my friend. We talked for many, many hours after we got back from Iraq. I’d like to say, “we talked for many hours after we got home”, but neither of us ever really came home from Iraq. In the past year, we shared much about our struggles. We cried some and laughed some. He told me he was sorry for ordering me into battle and I told him it was my honor to do so for him.

Col Lewis was a great commander and warrior. Chip Lewis was a great man and friend.

Col Lewis was my commander during war, and my friend as I searched for peace.

I will miss him dearly.

As we moved to his burial site at Arlington National Cemetary and the final proceedings were taking place, I moved forward and placed the Silver Star that he had awarded me at the base of his coffin. His family made the decision to have it buried with him.

What a day. What a wonderful man Chip had been to so many.

But here is what I want you to hear and understand. What I remember most about all of the incredible things surrounding our relationship and being awarded the Silver Star is this – on the 28th of September 2014, I was in my front yard smoking marijuana. I was doing anything and everything I could to get away from the abyss that I had become…and my phone rang.

“Chip” the phone showed…”Ah, nothing is going on, I’ll call him back tomorrow”, is what I said to myself.

There never would be a tomorrow. My commander and my dear friend took his own life early the next morning. I would never speak to him again. Not in this life.

In my weakness, in my own running from the issues that confronted me – I had let one of my closest battle-buddies and friends down. I had not been there the one time he truly needed me.

So I give all of you a warning: ALWAYS, ALWAYS – ANSWER THE PHONE.

You may save someone’s life.

With God’s grace, the support of my family, friends and my dear brothers and sisters here at Built to Lead – I am no longer in the abyss. On the contrary – My eyes are fixed on the one place they always needed to be – on Jesus – the ONE who will strengthen us and help us to SEE and HEAR the world the way it truly is.

I miss you, Chip. We will be together again one day – but not today, old warrior, old friend.

Together We Transform – always, ALWAYS TOGETHER.

Jim

1COR13:13