Monologuing

I was recently sitting at a coffee shop and couldn’t help but overhear the table next to mine. One guy met up with another and they sat down to hash out some difference of opinion or grievance. The problem was, the guy with the grievance wasn’t having a conversation, he was monologuing. He shared what seemed like every possible detail and context dating back to who knows when. I didn’t heard the other fella say one word for at least 20 minutes. I could visibly see the listener slowly but surely mentally tapping out. 

I see leaders do some version of this all too often. Your people, your peers don’t want a diatribe or a monologue. They don’t want to listen to you always work your thoughts out realtime while they are passive bystanders. If you’re a chronic monologuer then I can assure you you’re usually not heard. And the problem is you, not their ability to listen.

We all want to be engaged, we want quality conversation, we want to be heard not simply talked at. Say less and let them get curious for more. Practice being more CCD. Write more to get your thoughts clear before you share them. Speak less, get curious more, listen a whole lot more.