Category: Blog

A client of mine has an underperforming teammate that reports to her. Inspection is needed. She got some advice that she should go have one on ones with this leader's team...she didn't feel right about that. Good. If you want to cut a leader's legs out from under them AND fail to help them grow, … Continue reading Learn together

Most birds only sing when the conditions are just right - when they’re safe, satisfied, and secure. We humans are a lot like birds. Most allow circumstances to control us. That, friends, is for the birds. Don’t be normal. Be more like a Lark… The Lark is not a normal bird. You see, the Lark … Continue reading For the birds…

Relationships cannot be healthy without both parties embracing some loss of self. This always involves acute pain. And, we're over tuned to our own loss of independence; our partners, not so much. This is why we're horrible at keeping score in close relationships. I feel every slight like I've been cut to the bone and … Continue reading Not getting even…

Loyalty, like all virtues, requires discipline around it. When loyalty is over cooked, you can become loyal to a fault. You can become loyal to the bad actor and take too long to cut them loose, to the endangerment of the team. You can remain loyal too long, even when you're taken advantage of repeatedly. … Continue reading Loyalty

We build muscles with time under tension. We train them. We build relationships with time under attention. We love them. Muscles grow accustomed and adapt to tension. They will not grow unless you increase resistance, change routine, and overload them in new ways. Your closest relationships will not flourish without similar, focused attention. The routines … Continue reading Time under attention…

In practice with a client the other day I was reminded again that home is where the heart is AND where the hurt is. That's not surprising. Home is where we're typically most vulnerable, most open, most fully ourselves. The more vulnerable you are, the easier it is to be and feel wounded. Here's the … Continue reading Home

When a SEAL chief senses tension within his team, he often plays the "Van fight" card. What, you ask is a van fight? The leader says the word and the team gets in the van. The leader is off limits. He drives the van. The teammates get in the back of the van and fight … Continue reading Van fight…

If something feels too big, too hard to get started on, it just means your first step isn't small enough. Heard this the other day and loved it. Baby steps is the way. Work your way into taking on bigger challenges over time, and remember it always starts with baby steps. Pick a small enough … Continue reading Baby steps