Yesterday I practiced with a great team of “frontline” leaders. Here’s a quick observation from my practice. This is not based on any science…just my observation.
The lower the level of the people in a BUILT TO LEAD practice session, the HIGHER the level of TRUST.
We may be “obedient to authority” but we are certainly distrustful of it. Why?
Trust goes against our survival instinct. One of the main reasons we as humans are still here is due to our mistrust of other humans, animals, situations, and all kinds of other stuff. Fear of the unknown keeps you alive. It has been “hard wired” for thousands of years.
Our brains RUSH to judge.
The reason that many “native” species to an area are now extinct is due to them giving their trust to a “foreign” object and then finding themselves destroyed as a result. Our judging brain tells us to not trust people and situations that are unfamiliar, inconsistent, or that it perceives are less than genuine. Building a FORTRESS is what our judging brain tells us to do.
Most of us listen.
Most of us get busy building.
Most of us build a massive, safe space where we think we are safe. We wall ourselves in behind a FORTRESS. We hunker down. We stop exploring. We don’t notice right away but we have chosen the path of slow death. We are slowly but surely losing energy. We aren’t losing feelings in our extremities yet, but feeling anything in our HEART is long gone. We are NUMB.
If you want EXCELLENCE. You will build more dangerously. It is as simple as that.
The hero’s journey cannot be explored behind a fortress wall. The hero, remember, leaves what is known to pursue their PASSION. They always have a trusted friend as well. Every Sam has a Froto. Every Eddie has a Francios. Every Edge has a Bono.
I am beginning to see why building TRUST is at the heart of performance for individuals, teams, and leaders. Building trust is both paradoxical and just this side of chaos. Building trust will be an uphill climb for all of us.
Pain is inevitable…MISERY is a choice.
Are you on your hero’s journey?
Are you experiencing “quick death, quick death, quick death, BURST of life?”
Are you choosing to build safely and slowly losing energy?
Look in the mirror.
What does your face tell you? Read it.
Do you wake up excited about another day to pursue your dream?
Who is your “trust buddy or truth teller” that gives your courage?
Why do “real” people trust so much easier than “real” successes?
Who do you need to trust first? Why?
Trust or Fortress?
Why? Why? Why?
BUILT TO LEAD 
Chet:
Trust is a complex concept. At some point in one’s life, you make your default position one of being trusting, or or of being distrustful. I personally think it happens very early in life, influenced by the relationship you have with your first caregivers. My childhood environment was one were no one close to me ever caused me harm – at least the kind that left emotional scars. Rather my environment was one in which I and my siblings could expect love and support. Consequently, I grew up into an adult that trusts first, sometimes to the point of being gullible. I had to learn how to be suspicious.
In particular, I had to learn how to anticipate and wait for the SECOND QUESTION. You know, the one you get asked after being set up and boxed in by answering the first one?
Others learn early not to trust, and suspect nearly everyone they encounter might mean them harm. This must make for a stressful life. I think it must be harder to learn how to trust than how not to.
And on fortresses — notice that they have no place in modern warfare. Just a few centuries ago, a castle or a fort was the epitome of military technology. Artillary pretty much ended that. Today’s armies concentrate on maneuver, not defending a fixed position. You figure out how to make the fight happen on the enemies’ soil rather than your own. And you take your forts with you (e.g. aircraft carriers and tanks).
Forts and castles never really keep the enemy out — they just trap you inside.
Be good.
Pablo
Pablo,
Great stuff. Always good to hear from you. Please keep bringing your ideas, perspectives, and insight.
Trust is a complex complex. Most of my coaching clients have tired of the pain and chosen to wall themselves in….eventho they know it is a death trap…and a slow one at that.
Take care,
Chet
Chet:
As a former naval aviator, flying off aircraft carriers a thousand miles from land (often in the middle of the night), trust was the sine qua non of not just success, but survival. There could be no compromise in that extreme laboratory of high performance. If you weren’t trusted you’d fail; if you couldn’t trust others, you’d either fail or look for another line of work.
A key aspect of building a culture of trust is recognizing that TRUST IS A GIFT, it can’t be demanded, expected, bought, or coerced. It can only be given willingly, and based on the principle: IN ORDER TO BE TRUSTED, YOU MUST BE TRUSTWORTHY,
Both as an individual and organization, what are the ingredients to be deemed trustworthy? I believe there are five core interdependent ingredients: CHARACTER, COMMITMENT, COMPETENCY, CONNECTION, AND COMMUNICATION.
Focus on these and you will be trusted; the same goes for your organization. Within a culture of trust, there is an upward spiral of achievement based on creativity, determination, accountability, excellence, passion, comraderie, humor, candor, and resilience. Allowing a culture of mistrust (usually due to fear, incompetence, and/or integrity gaps ) will result in the opposite.
The good news is that there is tangible benefit in taking the first steps, and if you remain true to the goal of a trust-culture, the rewards are reinforcing and contagious. There is a palpable release of energy when you seek trustworthiness.
From that, everything else flows.
I enjoyed meeting your partner, Larry, a few weeks ago, and reading both of your blogs. Keep charging.
All the best,
George
http://www.trust-5.com