Today’s practice was nearly complete. Our focus today had been around building TRUST. The team had been more open than usual. The reasons were plentiful, but the main one, I contend, was simply that the BOSS was away. This team is fairly normal.
Most teams ACT one way when “THE MAN” is around, and quite another when he or she is NOT. Typical.
Jenny had been her normal self too. Thoughtful and insightful when communicating with her team; quiet and observant when outside her familiar four. I don’t really know Jenny, but I’ve seen Jenny before. You see, Jenny’s live on every team. Jenny’s are quietly competent. They are NOT “chatty Cathy’s.” They are not top producers. They are not, typically, CEO’s. They are, however, very cool. Jenny’s simply need a little coaxing to come out and play.
Jenny closed our session down by hitting it out of the park. I asked her to “say it again.” Sheepishly, she agreed. Jenny GETS it and I told her so in front of her peers. I didn’t say much but she HEARD my message.
How did I know?
Because she told me. Funny thing is that she didn’t say a WORD. She didn’t have to. She didn’t say anything but her body language said it all. Her eyes closed slightly and watered slighter still. She looked me in the eyes and then she smiled. Really smiled. Not the fake one; but the “Duchenne” one.
I gave her some COURAGE and she let it in. It cost me nothing.
JENNY is on your team. She has great ideas. She is a great listener. She’s quietly competent. She doesn’t TALK a lot. When she does it’s MAGIC. Really cool, BUILT TO LEAD leaders know that JENNY needs to be “turned up.” When the JENNYS on your team start to get turned up so will your results.
What are you waiting for?
Who on your team do you need to “turn up?”
Who on your team do you need to quiet down?
Who on your team do you want to “turn out?”
Who on your team do you want to unleash?
Are you “tuned in” enough to know?
Are you becoming a student of your face?
Are you becoming a student of the faces on your team?
Are you able to detect the “Duchenne” smile…the only one that you and I CANNOT fake?
Who gets your attention?
Why?
Hey Jenny, TELL ME MORE!
BUILT TO LEAD 
So Chet, tell me more — what’s a “Duchenne” smile? There must be a story to this. . .
Duchenne smile is named after the guy that figured it out. It’s the only smile that cannot be faked and actually can best be detected by looking at someone’s eyes. When really smiling, the eye’s slightly close at the outer edge. This is really cool to detect and very useful for every leader. The world is full of fakes…