27…

Today the Miss and I are celebrating 27 years together.  Moments like these are cause for some reflection and I’ve chosen, today, to allow myself the luxury.  

I don’t consider myself an expert on marriage, and if I did, Miss wouldn’t allow that thought to linger.  She has been, and continues to be my best and most offensive truth teller.  Isn’t that a strange combination?

As I look back over our years together they’ve been both bitter and sweet.  We have had many deep joys and frequent gut doubling laughs.  We’ve grown up together and watched, from the front row, how each of us has undergone deep change.  This has been heart warming, heart piercing, and sometimes quite painful.  I, can safely say, that I am NOT the man that Miss married 27 years ago today.  She might say the same about herself.  I’ve learned to let her speak for herself.

We had children when we were both children ourselves.  We had both been the product of “older” parents and thought it best to have ’em early and often.  Looking back, I can see how much I learned at the expense of Jordan and Andrew.  The relationship that I enjoy with them is such a blessing but I would love to rewind the clock and be as “mellow” with them as I am now with Tay.  Learning to love and discipline is a fine art.  I’ll be one hell of a grandpa for sure.

I’ve learned so much from my marriage to Miss.  Mostly, I’ve slowly learned how to really LOVE.  Early on I would shower her with extravagant presents and really fuss over what was the exact, right gift.  Today, as I prepared tonight’s celebration, I purchased not a thing.  Instead, today, I paid a parking ticket that I had gotten on her car, I followed up on some insurance fiasco that she’s wanted me to work on, I cleaned the dishes, I cleaned some clothes, I cleaned up a couple Shelby messes and didn’t say a thing, I re-organized my files so our office is something less than a mess, I applied Miss’ sunscreen on her back, I made dinner reservations, I wrote her a heartfelt note and didn’t buy her jack.

AND, today, like every other day she gives me her heart, and she gives me her hand.  Thank you Miss for never letting go…

With either.

Life doesn’t promise a sweet marriage.  Life doesn’t promise any of us a union that is destined to simply be “up and to the right” any more than work does.  All great teams will struggle.  All transforming relationships will bring deep joy and real pain.  Unions that last are ones that see the sweet moments and drink them in and savor them like a fine wine coupled with a delicious meal.  Marriages that make it are ones that learn to laugh when others choose to loathe.  I’m thankful that our ratio’s are right and I’m always reminded that the choice to change is always mine.

AND, I always look forward to just being with my Miss.  Remember, everybody just needs a hand to hold onto…

For me, that hand belongs to Miss.

Is someone transforming you?

Do you have a truth teller that you listen to even when it’s painful?

Are you reaching out toward the hand of the one you LOVE?

Do you focus on the bitter or the sweet?

Are you learning to laugh about what will never change in the heart, head, and hands of those you love?

Remember, if it’s funny in five you can go ahead and laugh…

NOW.