Throwing up…

I’m always telling my clients to write and speak in narratives and, at the same time, to remember that humans “hear” best when the sender is clear, concise, and direct. This “and” doesn’t often just happen.  The ability to speak and listen in a manner that deeply connects is a master skill that has to built.  Ten thousand hours of practice, here we come.  Why does all of this have to be such REAL, HARD, WORK? It just does, and that’s all I’ve got to say about that…

Yesterday, one of my favorite Davids looked across the table at me and pleaded his case with a face that told me this was serious.  He put forth a good argument against the BTL framework of CC&D. His point, there are sometimes when it’s simply best to just “throw up.”  You know, vomit.  You’ve simply got something going on inside that’s just got to come out.  Often this “puking” is filled with emotion and isn’t targeted toward some “porcelain palace.”  The pukefest has a more personal aim, namely people like you and me.  This sounds like it could be a very messy connection.  I’m picturing that awful scene from The Exorcist, grabbing my Crucifix and heading for the exit.

The sender might “feel” better once they’ve purged, but the receiver most likely missed the message but not the “regurgitation” that splattered them from head to toe.  Not good.

A good recipe for puking could be in order, you know.  These relationships that transform can also make us really sick to our stomachs.  Funny, huh.  So, next time you have “had it up to here” and just can’t take it anymore, go to the porcelain palace and heave ho, don’t you know.

With the pen…

Throw up all your thoughts on paper.  Get them the hell out of your head, your heart, your entire system.  Let the paper absorb your mess.  Then, let a little time transpire.  Not a decade mind you.  This is not a recipe to sweep away your feeling and bury them in your crawl.

A little time…

Next go back to your paper and try to structure and order your thoughts into a compelling narrative of “why.”  Why did my system feel the need to throw these thoughts out?  Why, at the root, am I so angry at (Insert name or object here)?  What big FEAR is behind this anger?  What am I crying about that’s deep inside the DNA of my puke strands?  Why have I allowed this junk to accumulate to the point of making me feel so sickee?  AND, what’s the best way to, not just feel better, but to actually begin the healing process and be better?

Once your heart and your head are aligned and you’ve sorted through all your stuff, feel free to find your receiver.  You and your target will hit the mark.  You’ll both get better.  Nobody will feel the need for a shower.  It won’t be easy, it won’t happen in an instant, but it will be worth the wait.

AND, remember whatever you read from me is more about me than it is you.  I’ve not got anything figured out and writing from on high.  Quite the opposite is the real truth.  I’m a fellow traveler and simply take some time from the trail to tell a tale or two.  My hope and my prayer is that some of them hit the mark.  They ALL hit me, however, right in the mouth…

Thanks one of my favorite Davids and one of my favorite teams, for giving me the privilege of watching you transform from a collection of individuals, teams, and leaders into ONE.  ONE team that is BUILT TO LEAD.

Yea, BABY…