We drove in relative silence, as we mostly do on the days when I have the chance to take my son, Taylor to high school. Just being with him is enough.
Today, I asked him about his tests, his teeth (he just got braces),and we talked about the new overpass that opens this thursday. Nothing big was brought up. No deep issues were raised. There were no big “aha’s.” It wasn’t a teaching moment. Just being with him is enough.
As we approached the school, he told me to go straight if the light is green, but be ready to get in the right lane if it turns yellow. He hasn’t figured out that I’m going slow on purpose and trying to savor every second. I’m actually praying for a red ahead and traffic to the right. Funny, huh.
We made the light, much to my hearts dismay and I pulled in front of the bus to drop him off. He said “Thanks, see you later,” as he grabbed his book bag and slung it over his shoulder in one very athletic move. The door slammed shut and I hesitated just a moment to watch him takes the first few steps toward his school. I pulled away and felt a pain of anticipation well up inside. I know this pain well. I’ve dropped off Jordan, Andrew, and Kristi for the last time before…
And it hurt.
Everybody said that when the time comes, you’ll be just as ready for them to go as they are to go. Everybody lies. Your heart is never ready to be broken, is it? Are you ever ready to watch your Bird fly away, your Annie go to Amsterdam, or your Krit become a Kansan? You are happy for them, don’t get me wrong. You know this is part of the plan.
You are grateful to see them grow and you are deeply saddened to see them go.
I am anticipating this pain even though it is still years off. That tells you how weird I am, yes. And, how acutely it hurts. This is a pain you will never forget. You will never be ready.
Today, with your little ones or your not so little one, savor the seconds you share. Take them all in. Slow down and let the light turn even though you think you’ve gotta go.
Remember, just being with them is enough…
BUILT TO LEAD 