Today’s politically correct culture produces an abundance of teams with “false harmony.” These teams look good on the outside. They never fight in public. They do not know how to fight in private. They avoid real conflict. These teams underperform as a result. I see this throughout my practice and you will too if you pay attention.
Here’s why this is the norm…do not miss this. The reason we choose false harmony over conflict is because choosing false harmony is just a little bit easier. Actually, it is a lot easier in the short haul. How much easier is it for you to talk about your spouse with a friend then to face him or her directly? How much easier is it for you to talk to your coworkers about your abusive peer or leader than to invest the energy in understanding that same person’s perspective? The real reason it is easier to live with false harmony is this…using conflict to improve performance takes big doses of COURAGE! It takes courage to face your fear of rejection and run into real conflict with your spouse, friend, coworker, or leader.Here’s the good news. Most conflict is not a problem to be avoided but instead is a conversation to be had. As we really learn how to TALK, we discover that most of our conflict is really just a communications problem. A translation issue that two people can usually solve on thier own or with the help of a loving third party. It just takes time.
A team that values false harmony over healthy conflict is a team destined to underperform. They will look good on the outside and may even carry a nice multiple on Wall Street. They will not sustain high performance, however. High performance teams know that conflict is their friend. The energy that comes from a diverse, innovative, results oriented, passionate group of people will generate heat. This heat will fuel their high performance and will also produce some heated moments. During these conflicts, high performance leaders will mine for conflict instead of burying it!! Do you see it?
Problems do not get better with age. Conflict does not resolve itself. You and your team are not part of some kinda self healing system. Problems must be addressed to be eliminated. The sooner they are addressed the more simply they are solved. Period.
Move toward your team members. Expect conflict. Expect lots of conflict. Move toward them, anyway. And, remember that together we improve is more than our tagline. It is what we demand from ourselves and expect from our clients. Remember, conflict is not the enemy. Valuing false harmony is the problem. You and your team are choosing a culture. Make it a culture that values truth not the lie of false harmony. You choose. Your choices have consequences…
BUILT TO LEAD 
Any conflict between us??
Sent from my iPhone
Nope, not a bit. Miss building beside you but hear great things about your progress. Thanks for your attention…
Really wise word to the wise. I see two common types of “false” harmony at different extremes. One comes from knowing there’s an issue to be dealt with and doing NOthing — hoping it goes away. The other comes from a strategy of appeasing/catering/doting/covering that actually rewards and further enables the root problem — which problem is often a person whom everyone has “a failure of nerve” to deal with.
TRUE harmony only comes when you are in flow as ONE, which you have to fight to get and fight to keep.
Good post, Toto.